KING CHARLES II HAS A PRESSING NEED ABOUT HIM!

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King Charles II: “Tell me fair maiden, are you very tall and stood behind that wall, or are you very short sat upon said wall, your gowns overflowing?”

Fair Maiden: “The truth my Lord is that I am neither.”

King Charles II: “Well I have a pressing need about me (if you get my drift) and knowledge as to your stature would be a useful thing indeed.”

Fair Maiden: “My Lord I am as rare as the elusive mermaid. I am my Lord half woman and half brickwork set upon a hard core base.”

King Charles II: “Whilst the ‘hard core’ bit has triggered a certain stirring within my loins your foundations are too wide and not to my taste so I shall take of my leave.”

Fair Maiden: “You cut me to the very quick my Lord for you imply I have a big bum.”

King Charles II: “Let’s say your rendering leaves something to be desired.”

Fair Maiden: “For a price I could give you the time of your life?”

King Charles II: “And more than a little chaffing I suspect.”

Fair Maiden: “I always carry a quantity of WD40 with me my Lord and my damp course is perfection it’s very self.”

King Charles II: “Oh very well. Here butler type person grab me spaniels I’m just off round the back – I’ll return in a jiffy!”

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