HE HUNTS ALONE

Image

 

A single blue rose,

She thought such a thing unattainable.

 

It is here though; upon the creaky old table,

The scullery table,

Laundry to be ironed close by.

 

A gift?

Rare and precious if you are.

Only the thief could have done this thing.

She never knows with him.

 

Captured or stolen?

Muse or contraband?

Only the thief can say and he is long gone.

 

Dead rose,

Photographs of the war,

Except not monochrome,

A single blue rose.

A tear; then another.

No reason.

 

Sanctum of hope?

Immigrant neglected?

If only the thief were here,

He would tell all.

 

He hunts alone,

Urban fox,

He has too,

Reynard really does not need his cover blown.

 

For every enemy unmasked,

There is always a gypsy unsuspected.

It is in the courtroom she will be judged a charlatan.

Anomaly.

Guilty as charged.

Only the thief can liberate her,

He is long gone.

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6 thoughts on “HE HUNTS ALONE

  1. Another work of genius!
    I’ll have to read through your recent work next week more thoroughly, as my internet connection at home is lost and I’m currently at McDonald’s using wifi in exchange for coffee and a clown staring at me. This is torture.
    Anyway, at the rate you post things, I’ve got something to look forward to once my internet connection is alive and kicking again.

    1. Best of luck with the internet connection. Only just turned on the laptop today – there seems little going on blog wise. Must be Christmas so I’m guessing the world is out buying presents. Thanks for the comment. I am thinking of giving myself the day off. Trust you get out of McDonald’s with your cholesterol levels intact.

  2. Some feedback, Mike. I am not a poet, and do not understand the mechanics of poetry. A poem does not need to rhyme (see Ted Hughes or Eliot for instance), but a sense of rhythm empowers the meaning and can give it direction. Every word must have a purpose.
    This seems to be a poem about questions : nothing is certain. Does she know him or not? She implies she does – in some way. Did he steal the rose? What does he want from her? Why does she cry? Only he can give her answers – and he is not there.
    As an allegory it is quite effective, but I’m not sure this was intended. The rose as potential lover – a lover she does not know whether she wants – but is saddened because he will not reveal himself? Don’t know.
    There are lots of enticing images here: the dead, improbable rose, gypsy, fox, charlatan, etc. But for me, they frustrate as they appear to lead me somewhere, then another image takes its place. The subtleties are powerful, but for me need some sort of backbone.
    One of the things you are very good at is playing with language. Perhaps think about using alliteration, etc. as a way of enhancing your meaning perhaps.
    I think its great, but I have no credentials for offering much in the way of critiquing!

    1. Just had the misfortune to be stuck in a supermarket!
      Thank you so much for taking time out to analyse this one. It is appreciated very much. This was the first piece I have tried to create rather than the previous ones that I simply let fall out of the sky. I had a feeling when I posted it I was trying to be too clever for my own good. I OD’d on unfathomable, less than remarkable metaphors I think!
      In my brain, such as it is, it was about a dead baby and its deserted mother. Shirley and George looked at me aghast when I told them as they didn’t get that at all. I think then your point regarding multiple questions rather than painting a surreal picture – that is a major fault. When I write satire I build on the skeleton of an idea – I didn’t do that here at all. This means your backbone point is also one I take on board. The piece has no spine. The multiple image thing is again most pertinent. Glad I wrote it though – I’m a great believer in learning from mistakes. Still this is a learning curve (hate that expression) and your words of wisdom are, as I said, truly appreciated as are the constructive and most valid thoughts you kindly imparted.
      Can’t thank you enough.

      1. I have avoided all crowds by internet shopping! Apparently they’re queuing to get into the park n ride in Norwich as I write! Still, they know the rules!
        I’m not sure what I said was much help, but the important thing is to carry on writing. One of the nice things for me is picking up something I wrote a few years ago that had been heavily criticised by some writing group, only to discover that it’s actually okay and just needs tweeking a little. 🙂

      2. We’ve not tried internet shopping yet – must give it a go. Oddly, with France so close by we do at least one shop a month over there and, strange when you think about French queuing habits it is much more civilized there! I’m definitely going not going to give up with this experiment just yet. I have an idea in my head and will see I’ve I can write it up whilst reflecting upon your reply. Once again my thanks.

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