The patron saint of gravediggers,
Is known as Anthony by name,
Yet he doubles up with the swineherders,
Does this Anthony of papal acclaim.
Then there is an unlikely patron,
Of truss makers can you believe?
Well I’ll wager a bet he was having a laugh,
Was Saint Follan whilst helping relieve,
The suffering of cooks griddled alive,
For they have a patron as well,
His name is Lawrence and quite odder still,
Are the jokes Saint Lawrence could tell,
For his extra gig are comedians,
This one I find hard to accept,
For how come he patrons the tortured,
Then has a joke, when he should really have wept?
Then we have Saint Dismus whose roll is,
To patron undertakers and thieves alike,
Personally I can’t quite see the fit,
When a miscreant’s stolen the bike,
Of the poor undertaker,
Now late for getting to a funeral,
Best call in good old Saint Michael,
The patron of the police after all.
Saint Blaise is the patron of town criers,
So I’m guessing he shouts quite a lot,
Yet Saint Hunna of washer women,
Needs to know cold water from hot!
Yet the one whose job description confuses
Me most is he of the Lottery,
For Saint Martin de Porres,
Is also patron of black people you see.
Now given the history of white money,
And the evil that was slavery,
For Martin to end up with both gigs,
Seems like double standards to me.