One day during World War Two, Winston Churchill was on the loo, When an Aide cried out to him to say, “The Ambassador of the USA, Has been here since half past the hour, And his demeanour is now turning sour.” It was thus that Churchill thought aloud, And with bulldog spirit, loud and … More WINSTON CHURCHILL & THE AMERICAN AMBASSADOR – Allegedly a true story!
Derek the Graceland Gardener: “Oi, Elvis me old mucker, as you requested I did the springtime planting; you know the assorted salad leaves, the cucumbers, tomatoes, radishes, spring onions and all that – basically everything you wanted. Also mate the summer fruits have long since come to fruition, the berries, well what can I … More ELVIS PRESLEY & THE CUCUMBER OF DESTINY!
“I wish I lived on a space ship, And not in this shed,” said he, “Then I could take lunch on Saturn, And travel the galaxy But here in this ram shackled unit, I take tea from a vacuum flask, And sit amongst the buckets and spades, Contemplating my very next task … More A POOR MANS DREAM – A ‘silly’ verse for kids and aging juveniles!
Ding dong…….creak, creak a bit more….ting-a-ling…..gently shut….ting a bit more “Good morning young lady how can I be of assistance?” “Oh, you’re new here. What happened to Percy Pillbeam the previous pharmacist?” “Dishing pills out in heaven these days luv. Anyway I’m Harry Khrisna, Dyslexic Chemist by day; Buddhist by night. I see you’ve … More HARRY KHRISNA THE DYSLEXIC CHEMIST
I have a story to tell, About the land I live in, It has castles and magic, And I am its King. Cathedrals for my bishops, They preach a good game, Knights fighting dragons, In some damsel’s name. White armour for my troops, My enemies wear black, The strategy of battle The … More EACH WASTED PAWN
“’Ello, ‘ello….are you there….can you hear me…..have I got the right number?” “Teversal Manor, home to Clifford and Constance Chatterley. Who, may I ask is calling?” “Oh, there you are….Derek D Rain, ‘Effluent Remover to the Gentry’ here. Look luv me wife took a call from this number but I can’t read the bloody … More LADY CHATTERLEY’S CESSPIT!
I am deaf, I am dumb, I am blind, I feel no touch, cannot smell, cannot taste, Inside of me is the Universe, Outside a mere galaxy displaced.