A WINDY LAMENT – A ‘ridiculously silly’ verse for kids and ageing juveniles!



Should you take milk with pickled onions,

And lentils with jam tart,

Then you might just emit, my friend,

One almighty fart.


Nearby some folk will giggle,

Although others may just huff,

But all that I would say to you,

Is, “Be proud of your guff,


For I have recollection,

Of what the tombstone read,

‘Those who hold their wind in,

End up here, quite dead’”


9 thoughts on “A WINDY LAMENT – A ‘ridiculously silly’ verse for kids and ageing juveniles!

  1. Oh my gosh Mike, I haven’t heard the word GUFF since the late 80s/early 90s… Love it.

    Also, and don’t even say thanks for this as it honestly won’t do a thing for you in terms of traffic, I’ve added you to my satirical/crazy bastard reading list. Carry on.

      1. I’m scared Mike. For the first time in a long time, I. AM. SCARED.

        Toughest couple of weeks coming up in a long time for the Arse. I would take being tastefully dumped out of the Champions League for two victories against Liverpool and finally, a league victory over Man Utd.

      2. Squads too small with the injuries – if we get no more we should come through with a couple of wins maybe a draw or two – the run in is not too bad though. My son is the key; he’s been engrossed these past few weeks doing stuff for his final year of the music degree so we don’t talk too much, even though we share the same house. His carefully calculated choice of attire is the key!

    1. It was Benny Hill who I recall once said, ‘I say nothing rude; it’s you the listener who may or may not hear it as rude’ – or words to that effect! I was fond of his remarkable sense of humour! Cheers.

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