NEWS OF THE BOER WAR REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON!

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“I say Carruthers I just had a meet with Salisbury and I truly cannot believe what he just said!  He wants us to come up with a structured and feasible plan to deal with all the bores in South Africa before he has to send the troops in no less!”

“Gosh that’s a big ask. I mean apart from those chaps who play rugger they’re all bloody bores in my book. The accent alone does it for me on that front.”

“Mind you that little secretary of yours Tiffany, she’s South African isn’t she and she’s not a bore – far from it if the rumours that abound the office are true. She made quite a name for herself at the Christmas party I understand?  Nod, nod, wink, wink and all that.”

“True but for God sake don’t let the missus know about those shenanigans; she’ll roast me alive.”

“Talking of ‘roasting alive’ maybe we could get some of those tribal chappies over there to sort the bores out for us. The Zulu’s come to mind – always up for a fight methinks. I know they’ll be left with a subjective conundrum as to who exactly is boring and who isn’t but it’ll save us shedloads of paperwork what, what!  I feel sure that for a few barrels of grog they’d give it their best lance – so to speak. ”

“Good thinking – problem solved. Drinks on me I think. Club at noon?”

“Without doubt old chap.”

 

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7 thoughts on “NEWS OF THE BOER WAR REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON!

  1. Nice one…paints a bit of a darker picture of Carruthers and his companion, but it’s a nice way to throw some historical accuracy into the mix here (‘accuracy’ in this case being ‘not everything the UK ever did was as applaudable as eggs and bacon for breakfast)…

      1. Ah, great twist: I never saw it coming, but at the same time I feel I should have known. She’d make the perfect double agent.
        I promise I won’t tell anyone else yet!;)

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