MI6 ADVISE THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON TO KEEP ALERT – A tale of ‘silliness’ in the extreme!



“I say Carruthers I think I’m more confused than ever now! I really don’t know what’s going on. That dastardly head of MI6 has just advised that we have got to keep a ‘lert’ here at the Foreign Office. What the bloody hell is a ‘lert’ – I didn’t like to ask in case he called me a thick twat again? I’m somewhat miffed as you can imagine.”

“Blimey, can’t help you out there old chap. A ‘lert,’ no……..no…..never heard of one. Have you tried the Oxford English – a veritable mine of linguistic information?”

“First thing I did. No mention of it. Do you think it might be a breed of dog?”

“Um…yes, probably it is. Sounds like a dog if you think about. Can’t be 100% on that though. Anyway why the hell would we need to keep a dog in the office? Who’s going to exercise and feed it? Rum deal in my book.”

“Maybe young Tiffany would look after it? Handling wild creatures is a bit of a forte of hers I hear.”

“Well that’s true enough. She told me the other day that she regularly has to pop home at lunchtime to take that Great Dane of hers to the park to give him a stroke while he licks her face and pants.”

“Think you’ll find that’s the boyfriend – you know that big blond chap who came as her guest to the Henley Regatta shindig last summer. Personally I had him marked down as a Ruskie yet whatever. Still no harm in asking her though. Where is she today haven’t spotted her at all this morning so far?”

“I think I saw her popping out carrying one of those girlie magazines…yes I did…it was called ‘Top Secret’ or such like. You know the sort of mindless things these youngsters read – all about the brazen celebrities and such like. They bore me shitless I can tell you.”

“So glad she told you she wasn’t the ‘mole’ in the office when you had that quiet word last week. MI bloody 6 got it wrong there didn’t they? How could anyone think our adorable Tiffany a double agent is quite beyond me? Still we can ask her after lunch. Fancy beating the goat at the club?”

“What do you think?”

This tale follows on from yesterday’s ‘Carry on Carruthers’ the link to which is;



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