FRANCOIS KNOCKS ONE OUT FOR TIFFANY!

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Foreign Office, London, May 1941: Erstwhile office girl from the Foreign Office now a special agent conducting covert duties against the German invaders in Northern France had, following a successful mission disrupting Luftwaffe capabilities, been captured by the Gestapo. However her chivalrous partner in espionage, Francois of the French Resistance movement has come to Tiffany’s rescue. Having given her prison guard a savage beating Francois and Tiffany have affected an escape and are now holed up in a safe house in the Pas de Calais region. We join the story as news of her get away reaches her bosses at the Foreign Office in London;

“I say Carruthers this Morse code thingy is making a racket again. I think a new message or other is coming through. That’s the second time in as many weeks – will the bledy thing never cease its constant drivelling’s? Oh look it’s a new update from Tiffany over there in war torn France.”

“Who?”

“Tiffany, you must remember her. She was the secretary Special Op’s seconded for undercover duties because she was the only person in England who spoke French.”

“Oh yes, that Tiffany gotcha now. What’s the girl got to say for herself then?”

“Well once all these dots and dashes are sorted out…ah yes……here we go then;

Have escaped the clutches of the guards STOP

Francois knocked one out STOP

Am in his hands at safe house STOP

Francois says if I keep watch he will come for me later STOP

He offers me his weapon and ammunition STOP

I tell him I cannot manage all of it STOP

Francois has re-joined me here STOP

Francois now believes I need some meat inside me STOP

He has gone to find provisions STOP

Maybe I will fancy a little something later STOP

He says he will knock me up quietly when he returns STOP

Francois returns grappling with his gear STOP

We hear someone at the door of safe house now STOP

Francois concerned that someone has grabbed knob STOP

Must hide in wardrobe now STOP

Francois says, ‘open it up and see if I can squeeze in’ STOP

I send message of my position later when I have the time to slip one in STOP

 

Well that’s all mumbo jumbo to me. What’s the girl on about that’s what I’d like to know?”

“Seems to me she’s spending too much time enjoying herself and not enough time on the job! That’s the trouble with these young gals. Put one near a Jonny Foreigner lothario type and they forget the world around them exists. Doesn’t she realize there’s a bloody war on? Never heard the like of it!”

“Oh well, now that the club’s been bombed out by the Hun do you fancy a large one at Harry’s Bar on The Strand? It’s not quite up to our usual standards yet I’m told the ale is just about drinkable.”

“Needs must when the devil drives! Shame about the club though.”

AND THAT IS THE FINAL PART OF THIS TRILOGY! – the previous two episodes can be found at;

https://mikesteeden.wordpress.com/2014/02/12/tiffany-banged-up-in-france/

https://mikesteeden.wordpress.com/2014/02/11/carry-on-tiffany-an-account-of-young-tiffanys-ww2-covert-mission-to-northern-france/

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12 thoughts on “FRANCOIS KNOCKS ONE OUT FOR TIFFANY!

  1. Absolutely brilliant, really made me laugh as i can see Carruthers and the other cronies sitting in the gentlemans club discussing this totally oblivious….Typical Officer….

      1. Well, luckily for us both the cold war came about not too long after WWII…I’m sure Tiffany had her uses in that era (hope I don’t come across as too pushy, but it’s in a fan’s nature to be demanding I guess)

      2. By the way Shirley is now ‘following’ your blog! She is with WordPress and had intended to blog herself yet decided she prefers to ‘react’ rather than ‘create.’ A shame really as she knows more words than I do and is funnier than I am. Anyway in case you were wondering who this new ‘follower’ is it is my missus no less!

      3. So do I but she won’t sadly – I almost got her to. I’m sure you’ll find her replies interesting. As I said she is well read and has razor sharp wit!

  2. I once borrowed £3 7s 6d from a girl called Tiffany in 1969. I then fled to The Sudetenland where I married a neo-nazi girl from Dusseldorf.
    The gullible young fool didn’t suspect a thing.

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