NEWS OF THE 1956 SUEZ CRISIS REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON

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“I say Carruthers the missus has ordered me to go to one of those bleddy musicals in London’s West End tonight.  Nuisance I say but I suppose I’ll have to keep the old trout happy.”

“Couldn’t think of anything worse old chap. They really ought to name theatre land Dreary Lane not Drury Lane you know.”

“Kiss Me Kate.”

“Pardon? That’s a tad over personal isn’t it? Anyway, where about your person is your ‘Kate’?”

“No not my ‘Kate’ – that’s what the wife said to me last evening. Couldn’t make head or tail of what she meant. I mean if I knew where her ‘Kate’ was I’d have happily kissed it for her. She wasn’t letting on though. Just went off in a huff! Bedroom rations and all that!”

“Poor you! Maybe Tiffany will know. She’s a woman – she must also have a ‘Kate’ thing don’t you think? Shall I go and ask her?”

“Good plan.”

A LITTLE TIME LATER

“Crikey, Tiffany went ballistic when I said ‘Kiss Me Kate’ to her. She went on to say, ‘If that’s a eufo…ufo’……oh I don’t know…”

“Euphemism?”

“Yes that’ll be it, anyway, ‘If that’s a euphemism for what I think it is I shall kick you in the balls matey boy.’ I truly thought she was having an attack of the vapours.”

THE IMPORTANT BIG RED TELEPHONE RINGS

“Oh God what a hectic day, now the PM has just buzzed me. It seems he’s all in a flap and wants to know what we are doing about the Sue Ez crisis no less! He said he wants answers straight away.”

“Crikey, who the bloody hell is Sue Ez when she’s at home?”

“Search me. Best go and ask that young Tiffany to finger through the telephone directory and dig this Sue Ez’s number out – find out what’s wrong with the poor girl and all that.”

“Blimey if I go and ask her to finger the book she’ll go mental. Anyway with a surname like ‘Ez’ it’s likely that we’re dealing with a bloody Jonny Foreigner type.”

“Oh it’ll probably die a natural. Shall we let sleeping dogs lie and pop off down the club for a quick snifter – let the dust settle and all that?”

“Cracking idea – I’m parched.”

 

 

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12 thoughts on “NEWS OF THE 1956 SUEZ CRISIS REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON

  1. I love when you do these! I hear the accents when I read the dialogue. I know the offer to go to the club is coming but I still chuckle every time. The answer is no. This premise is NOT getting old! Keep it up, please.

  2. “It seems he’s all in a flap and wants to know what we are doing about the Sue Ez crisis no less!”

    Don’t know where the PM hails from but around this part of the prairie, he is saying, “Sue IS”. Which is certainly more of a crisis than Suez…

  3. I came down with the flu this weekend and have been doing nothing except lying on my bed and staring at the ceiling for what seemed like an eternity. Carruthers definitely made me feel better! Thanks…am glad he didn’t get fired on account of his WWII cock-ups;)

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