My son who takes things literally,

Did one day say unto me,

“We have no sliced bread left Dad,

We’ve only rolls I see.


And I desire some toast this morn,

To breakfast on before,

I take my leave to study,

Maybe compose a musical score.”


My riposte was to observe,

He’d be wise to toast a roll,

Yet he replied, “Said roll won’t fit,

In the toaster, don’t you know.”


So I said, “Cut the roll in half,

For then you’ll find it sits,

Comfortably in said toaster,

And you can then breakfast on it.”


“I’ve cut the roll in half now,

Yet I am somewhat confused,

You see the roll still not fits.”

At this I was amused.


“I see you’ve cut it top to bottom,

When if you had any common sense,

You would have halved it sideways,

How can you be so dense?”


And then I got to thinking,

That whilst my son’s no dope,

Indeed he’s studying for a degree,

Is there any fucking hope?


My 21 year old son, a diamond bloke, excels at all things that hold his interest – as to things he sees unimportant and on the periphery of the human condition then his ‘literal’ approach takes hold as he breezes through life.



18 thoughts on “MY SON WHO TAKES THINGS LITERALLY & A SLICE OF TOAST – A true story told in verse!

    1. Not so sure if that would work as I’m a bit like it on the literal front also – drives the wife mad. George is a genius musician and a jolly good bloke and somehow he should, like me, muddle through life. Thanks for the idea though – I will suggest he pulls his socks up and wager a bet he reaches for his socks as the metaphor glides off into the ether!

  1. Hello there! Would you mind if I share your blog with my zynga group?
    There’s a lot of people that I think would really enjoy
    your content. Please let me know. Thank you

    1. Have no idea what a zynga group is? Yet feel free. Young George is in the grip of his finals at university presently (a fine musician he is) yet don’t think he would mind. He says hopefully……Dad you’ve ruined my life…. etc.etc.

  2. Great verse! Poor George. But he’s ahead of mine who would have simply demanded that I toast the roll for him or he would starve. At least you and Shirley have half the battle won. 😉

    1. Well good luck to the lad – obviously got his priorities sorted! G aborted the mission to make himself a Pot Noodle thing recently as he couldn’t ‘just add boiling water’ as he forgotten how to get water into the kettle (true) so he starved until we returned! There was tons of proper food in the house as well yet even the fusion of cheese and bread was beyond him.

      1. Yeah, that’s definitely a familiar sight around here. And if I refuse to make it for him? He’ll just go to bed hungry because he will NOT make a sandwich. He doesn’t like when I remind him that his arm’s not broken.

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