HARRY KHRISNA THE DYSLEXIC CHEMIST

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Ding dong…….creak, creak a bit more….ting-a-ling…..gently shut….ting a bit more

“Good morning young lady how can I be of assistance?”

“Oh, you’re new here. What happened to Percy Pillbeam the previous pharmacist?”

“Dishing pills out in heaven these days luv. Anyway I’m Harry Khrisna, Dyslexic Chemist by day; Buddhist by night. I see you’ve got a prescription in your hand. What’s it say?”

“Can’t read it, sorry….you know doctor’s aren’t exactly famous for legible handwriting are they?”

“Wouldn’t know luv – I’m 100% dyslexic. All a blur to me.”

“Oh, this is a bit awkward then.”

“Let’s try a bit of trial and error; usually does the trick. I’ll throw a few of the usual suspect diseases your way and you tell me if I’ve guessed right. OK?”

“Well not really. There are other customers about the place and…well….I’m not happy about eavesdropping.”

“Never heard of her – don’t think she’s one of my punters.”

“What?”

“Right let’s start. The Clap?”

“Certainly not.”

“Genital warts?”

“No, no…stop it there are people listening.”

“Look luv I’m only trying to help. If I’m going to prescribe I need to get in the zone don’t I? I mean gives us a clue like. Flatulence?”

“No.”

“Bunged Up?”

“No, no, no…..really!”

“I give up then. Why don’t you go back to the quack and get him to say what’s on the prescription; remember it off by heart then return.”

“It’ll take days to get another appointment though.”

“Well, all I can suggest is that you go home; do a bit of meditating – belt out a few ‘Om’s’ and such like whilst sat cross-legged on the floor doing some diaphragm type breathing routines thus invoking an inner calm.”

“Oh, I’ll never manage cross-legged on the floor.”

“Got it luv – you’ve got Chalfont’s haven’t you. See, we got there in the end………Marigold my dearest prepare some fresh pile cream and a comforting butt ring for the young lady here as I’m off for a slash.”

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