Long ago and far away,
I cannot exactly remember when,
My wife had a black bat tattooed on her bum,
And showed it me now and then.
The black bat took up pride of place,
Upon her most edible right cheek,
And the more that I did study it,
The more I thought it rather neat.
And so it was I came to like it,
The black bat on a bum quite pert,
Yet when she fell pregnant with our son,
I mentioned something that did hurt.
You see as is not that uncommon,
And not long before the birth,
That fact that her bum had spread a bit,
Was the thing that caused me mirth.
In truth the thing I said to her,
“Dear your tattoo looks more like a grey albatross,
Than the black bat that you started with,”
Was the thing that made her most cross.
Thankfully once her boy was born,
And after a diet most unforgiving,
The wife’s bum was restored to its usual form,
Yet if she ever reads this my life won’t be worth living.