WORKING GIRL HALI TOSIS & ‘THE KISS OF DEATH’

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Punter: “Go on give us a kiss luv.”

Hali: “Certainly not. I liked to be remote from me clients, after all I’m running a business here and I have always worked to the rule that potential emotional attachment is best avoided – not that I could ever get attached to you you fat bastard. Look my repertoire is, as you well know matey boy, a broad one – I’m even running a BOGOF on bondage this month. Can’t say fairer than that can I?”

Punter: “Look I’ll pay you handsomely – just the one kiss. The wife hasn’t given me so much as a peck on the cheek this past 20 years. I’m gagging for a snog. What say I pay you a tenner?”

Hali: “A tenner! Have I not made meself clear – I don’t snog.  Full stop. It’s not my fault your missus is a barren husk who obviously is repelled by your very existence.  Anyway a tenner is a fucking insult.”

Punter: “How much then?”

Hali: “What part of ‘I don’t snog’ didn’t you understand?”

Punter: “100 quid then?”

Hali: “£250 – just the one mind.”

Punter: “Done. Shake on it – so to speak.”

Hali: “That’ll cost you another fifty. No tongues mind.”

THE REQUISITE FEE IS PAID AND HALI FINDS HERSELF LOCKED IN SAID EMBRACE WITH THE PUNTER

Punter: “Oh my, oh my, your breath has the toxicity of a Mumbai sewage works about it luv. I think I’m going to”……..CHOKE, COUGH, BARK, REECH, CHOKE…… “die”……DEAD.

Hali: “Crikey – still he died a happy man. Next…”

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