I MANAGED A GRAVE NOSE BLEED!

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In the morn my wife is going ‘Up North,’

To visit friends you see,

That leaves me stranded here in Kent,

With scope to be wild and free?

 

Of course she offered me the chance,

To accompany her up there,

Yet perplexed, and at my wits end,

I could only look at her and stare!

 

“‘Up North’ my girl you know very well,

The place is frozen June to May,

That is when it isn’t raining,

Which is every other day.

 

And furthermore you are aware,

That last time I ventured there,

I managed a grave nose bleed,

Was in a state of disrepair,

 

A little north of Highgate,

For that’s ‘North’ enough for one,

Who treasures not satanic mills,

In the dark or in the sun.

 

One who has never lusted,

For black pudding or the saying Ecky Thump,

Has no desire, on moorland,

To find a sheep to rump.

 

No I’ll stay by the seaside,

Here in the South East,

Maybe look out young Svetlana,

Ask her to tame the beast!”*

  • SINCERE APOLOGIES TO ANY AND ALL LIVING NORTH OF ST ALBANS – COULDN’T HELP MYSELF WHEN THE WIFE WAS IN RAPTURES ABOUT THE PLACE!

 

 

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11 thoughts on “I MANAGED A GRAVE NOSE BLEED!

    1. Thanks – the truth is I’ve put my back out so if I had wanted to travel north I couldn’t – strange incident with a formidable woman in Sainsbury’s was the cause (must write it up as a post yet even typing is agony presently). So while Shirl swans around having a good time I shall be here languishing in pain trying to get myself together for a football match – tickets long since paid for – on Saturday!

      1. Agh – I’m so sorry. Backs are boring, badly designed things for us bipeds. Do I mean bipeds?
        I hope a rest from Shirl leads to a speedy recovery of said vertebrae. 🙂

  1. As usual you brought a chuckle despite this horrible Irish day. But I have to admit I have visited Scotland, Yorkshire and enjoyed all of my visits to them but never met a person who said, “Ecky Thump!” Did I miss much?

    1. I think I’m a stereotype! I don’t really mind the north it just the weather. The lucky thing about the South East corner is that we often pick up the better temperatures and weather when it is fine over France. And I haven’t a clue what ecky thump even means!

    1. Lord knows what I’d do if Svetlana really existed – well aside from the girl in the cafe who I’ve yet to manage more than say hello to! At least Shirley and I do manage to laugh as she is ever a topic of my self-deprecating humour!

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