EVEN VIAGRA DOESN’T WORK FOR SUPERMAN!

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“You know what Lois this is doing me head in. I mean look at today I’ve shifted a couple of ginormous mountains back into position; spun Earth around on its access more than once; swallowed a nuclear bomb whole thus preventing a radioactive disaster and saved a bastard cat up a tree and now this.”

“Don’t think twice about it Superman. Shit happens. You worry too much and it’s nothing a nice cuddle can’t sort out.”

“That easy for you to say luv yet it doesn’t seem fair that with all me super-human strength I can’t……how shall I put it…….rise to the occasion.  I’ve downed a bucket of that Viagra – nothing!”

“Maybe if you did that thing you do in a telephone box. You know the spinning thing and turned yourself back into Clark Kent that may do the trick?”

“The nearest telephone box is bloody miles away. Can’t see how that would work anyway.”

“Well I’m thinking here that with all that Viagra stuff in you a change of persona – you know a bit of method acting Brando style – into a regular suited and booted bloke might well trigger something lustful within you?  Also, I feel sure a couple of spins in the shower cubicle would save you trotting off to the telephone box and knackering yourself out after the day you’ve had.”

“I’ve never had a jolly good spin in a shower cubicle. I think I’ll give it a go – won’t be the same mind.”

SUPERMAN POPS OFF FOR A JOLLY GOOD SPIN IN THE SHOWER CUBICLE. A LITTLE LATER…….

“Oh you do look lovely in that suit Clark…Superman….whatever. Are you minded to join me in sexual congress now you handsome brute you?  Give us kiss then.”

“No nothing – not even the hint of a firming up. Bollocks I was looking forward to this all day. I feel cheated, I really do.”

“Maybe it’s the Viagra. Throw me over one of the empty packs from the pile and I’ll check the ingredients – you never know there might something in it that disagrees with you……….right it’s got citrate salt of sildenafil and a selective inhibitor of cyclic guanosine monophosphate. Oh yes, and in the small print it says ‘Produced in an environment where Kryptonite was present’ and ‘May contain Kryptonite.’  And there’s a warning here saying, ‘Not to be taken if you have a fully functional willy; are pregnant; bipolar; dyslexic; dribble a lot or if you are a superhero.’ There’s your answer. You should have checked the packet first!”

“A superhero no less – just my bloody luck!”   

“Tell you what why don’t I pop over the Spar shop and grab you some Stella – always worked for me ex that did?”

“Stella! Crikey luv If I can’t manage just you do you really think a threesome a sensible idea?”

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7 thoughts on “EVEN VIAGRA DOESN’T WORK FOR SUPERMAN!

  1. Great stuff…the title alone is worth the entire post!
    I actually wonder from time to time what it must be like to be, well, pounded by Superman…I mean, the guy can lift mountains and such, so I can’t imagine him being a tender lover…perhaps his inability to get it up is what keeps Lois alive?

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