Edward, Chairman of the men only ‘Let’s All Look the Same Society’ strides ever forward in disgust. He knows for a fact that Cedric – never one to conform – was telling lies, when, a little earlier that he said he thought tonight was a once off, ‘Lone Ranger’ fancy dress party.
No one told me That Kitty had died She just Disappeared From my life One day No more Visits to her house On the top deck Of the number 65 Bus to Ealing No more gifts of Wrigley’s chewing gum Kitty had Boxes and boxes Of the stuff She had Developed a taste For gum … More KITTY
“I say Carruthers I understand that our lovely little secretary Tiffany wants a private word with you regarding a personal matter. She was unwilling to impart any details to me so I am unable to give you the heads up as to what exactly she has to say. I think though, given the fact that … More TIFFANY IMPARTS NEWS OF HER AWKWARD DILEMMA TO CARRUTHERS!
Hashish and LSD Both worked for me All those years ago Opium too Sweet dreams The sweetest Then of course Mescaline Travelled the universe Without my head Leaving my pillow Thank you Aldous Huxley For that Yet then came My part share In an embryo Needed an income Needed to be responsible So I … More THE BASTARD OF ALL DRUGS
The day I laughed at myself Was the day I nailed hypocrisy To the wall Of the museum of obstacles Consigned to oblivion No more a traitor To my immaculate dreams My inglorious desires The day I laughed at myself Was the best day of my life
A word of four syllables ‘Conscientious’ Precedes another word ‘Objector’ ‘Conscientious objector’ That was it I remember now A child Not blessed With academic acumen That was me Yet those Two words I knew Mind you I couldn’t spell ‘Conscientious objector’ Not back then My mother said ‘Conscientious objector’ Regularly Geographically confined To … More FROM THE HIDEAWAY OF ADULTHOOD
“I say Carruthers have all the dreadful shenanigans with the missus calmed down yet? I know it’s been so very tiresome for you of late.” “Tell me about it old chap. I just don’t understand the woman one tiny bit. Just last evening as I was thumbing through Town & Country whilst partaking of … More DEIRDRE WANTS THE POPE TO CANONIZE CARUTTHERS’ KNOB!