Dorking Woman Crowned World Car Door Slamming Champion

SOZ SATIRE

Mrs Smethwick’s family take a few moments to recover following a door slamming incident in a lay by on the A12 last night

In a thrilling finish at a branch of Car Giant in Dagenham, East London, a woman from Dorking in Surrey last night clinched the coveted World Car Door Slamming title, beating five hundred other females representing countries from all over the world, the first time the prize has been wrested from American grasp since its inception in 1947.

Mrs Emily Smethwick, 35, managed to slam 60 car doors unnecessarily hard in two minutes and forty five seconds, smashing the world record by a hefty 9.4 seconds.

Speaking to reporters afterwards, Mrs Smethwick, married with 5 children, said.

“This is the proudest day of my life without doubt. I’ve been slamming car doors with excessive violence ever since my husband, Ted, bought an Austin Maxi in 1978 and…

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2 thoughts on “Dorking Woman Crowned World Car Door Slamming Champion

  1. Cheers for the RB Mike. However I think it’s a bit harsh the way you removed the tasteless pic of a number of lifeless corpses alongside the wreckage of a Hillman Imp 😉

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