“Pater would you mind terribly grabbing hold of the end of this please?”

“First Leonardo pray tell what it is if I may be so bold as to ask?”

“Oh this is merely one of my new inventions I’m working on, namely a lightsaber. The reason I ask you to clasp it thus is that presently, and despite much thought, I am at odds with myself as to its very purpose no less.”

“So then Leonardo, you merely wish that I grab the light beam you hold out before me?  It is just a ray of fluorescent coloured ‘light’ then – I cannot see too much harm in that. OK I shall. Here we go……”

“Cripes pater it seems that I was afflicted with a mild, unaccountable twitch just at the very moment you took to hold the end of my lightsaber and I have, albeit by accident, severed your right hand – most neatly I might add – leaving you with nothing more than a stump spouting a veritable fountain of blood. Swift action needs be taken as I suspect you will be off to meet your maker in just a few moments.”

“Leonardo I fear I am a goner son – have you any magic tricks up your sleeve?”

“Well pater I have long since been working on ideas for a food freezing unit which will, I surmise, be a necessity for freezing said right hand prior to reattachment to said stump as well as a pamphlet on the means and potential benefits of micro-surgery a positive necessity for to effect such reattachment. However, I suspect that without a tourniquet to stem the bleed there is little that can be done to save you. You see such a thing as a tourniquet is not even a work in progress at this time. Sorry about that pater.”

“I had so many manuscripts to pen today… this. Farewell Leonardo.”

“Dash rotten luck pater.”

For the first story ‘Young Leonardo Da Vinci’s Flamethrower’ see link below!

 For more utter drivel of a similarly appalling standard visit

A place of consummate drivel.



    1. Cheers – need to think what next yet have been waylaid by a new character. I’ll post him tomorrow and would value your thoughts for he is either my best or worst character ever!

  1. I just hate it when my kid invents something that ends up killing me. 😉 Great post. Except when I read it at first, I only glanced at the title and thought it said Leonardo DiCaprio. After reading it, I realized my mistake. Yours was great, but it was funnier when the actor killed off his dad. 😉

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