THE LEAGUE OF MENTAL MEN

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“I say Carruthers this new club Sir Daniel Aloysius Soz 7th. Earl of Whitechapel has invited us to join doesn’t even have a bleddy billiards room. That’s simply not on in my book notwithstanding the supposed exclusivity of the membership.”

“Yes I spotted that myself. I did note that in the drawing room waitresses don’t serve Darjeeling and Garibaldi biscuits even! Can you believe it old chum! It seems the only old toot they deliver unto us punters is strong ale and Bombay mix – absolutely frightful.  And what’s more those very same waitresses do not wear tops to their dresses at all – as the old Mountains of Mourne song goes. Disgusting.”

“And I might add they keep not the daily spreadsheets oh no.  What reading matter there is consists only of tabloids and magazines the like of which I’d rather not even speak of.  Furthermore when we were introduced to that awful Hoadley chap; you know the one who purports to be a self-made millionaire – a fortune purportedly made from dubious dealings in the business of rhino horn aphrodisiacs for the…..how shall I put it…..procreative inadequates – he actually slapped me about my shoulders and uttered ‘Watcha me old mucker.’ Horrible chap as all ‘new’ money types inevitably are.”

“True I’ll wager he grew up a ruffian and as the old saying goes, ‘you can take the ruff out of the ruffian, but never the ruffian out of the ruff.”

“How very, very true.”

“Cripes here comes Sir Soz. Best we make a swift getaway before he spots us……bollocks too late.”

FIVE MINUTES LATER

“Well that’s it I’m orf. I never heard the like of it. How on God’s earth did he believe we would actually accept the offer of whelk starter as a prelude to a vulgar main course of that dish the proletariat so favour namely pie and mash and thereafter an evening’s gambling in the bare knuckled, ‘tasty bird’ – as he himself put it – cage fighting parlour.”

“The man, in my opinion should be hung, drawn and quartered – and him, a member of the aristocracy; seat in the Lords to boot. I really don’t know what the world’s coming to!”   

“Yes, I’m afraid to say The League of Mental Men is no place for the likes of us – and did you hear what Soz just uttered in our direction…..good Lord……he told us to fuck orf. He calls it a private members club; should be named a private ‘parts’ club in my view!”

In addition to this blog I, with others, am now writing utter drivel for THE LEAGUE OF MENTAL MEN a brand new ‘blog’ where lunacy will evolve, nay plummet to new depths. Should you have pity for the poor satirists’ in your heart you may feel inclined to ‘Follow.’  You can find us at;

https://theleagueofmentalmen.wordpress.com/

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13 thoughts on “THE LEAGUE OF MENTAL MEN

  1. Heartening news old fruit! We now have 4 followers! There’s yourself, myself, Big Gaz and…
    Sorry about that, the other one just made their excuses and left 😦

      1. Proper point – on the blogs we follow for LOMM the new posts for a number of most valued – such as you – are not appearing meaning that I have to paste say your address in then check your blog direct. It’s not a problem but I will speak to Clive about it as I worried it will look ‘bad manners’ if I do not read/cover the blogs on LOMM – at least I can see you’ve posted through my own blog which helps.

      2. Wow that is not a sentence one hears too often. Rather like it. So I need to look for an orange talk bubble – I shall go seeking one this instant!

      3. LOL! If you go to your blog, and then click the thing that looks like a broken comb up in the black bar at the top left, it will take you to your Reader, (which I’m sure you already knew) and then there’s a talk bubble at the top right by your photo, and the bubble gets orange if you have a comment.

  2. Oh I’m in, I’m mental! I’m sure I’ll have a great time! And “he told us to fuck orf” is a howler. I can just see the disbelieving expression. Thank you!

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