Staple my tongue to a gate post,
For it is my fatal flaw,
My tongue you see talks instead of me,
And that’s not what it’s for.
My tongue should obey my command,
Not let loose on its own,
My tongue should learn to be polite,
And never make me groan.
We were comrades in arms once my tongue and I,
Yet we had a falling out you see,
And now my tongue it doth decry,
All that I hold dear to me.
It has become an unwelcome guest,
That tests my very sanity,
To the extent that on occasions,
It gives rise to profanity.
My tongue used to be my virtue,
At no task would it scoff,
But now it just annoys me,
So I shall cut the bastard off!