STAPLE MY TONGUE TO A GATE POST – A piece of ‘silly’ verse!


Staple my tongue to a gate post,

For it is my fatal flaw,

My tongue you see talks instead of me,

And that’s not what it’s for.


My tongue should obey my command,

Not let loose on its own,

My tongue should learn to be polite,

And never make me groan.


We were comrades in arms once my tongue and I,

Yet we had a falling out you see,

And now my tongue it doth decry,

All that I hold dear to me.


It has become an unwelcome guest,

That tests my very sanity,

To the extent that on occasions,

It gives rise to profanity.


My tongue used to be my virtue,

At no task would it scoff,

But now it just annoys me,

So I shall cut the bastard off!





16 thoughts on “STAPLE MY TONGUE TO A GATE POST – A piece of ‘silly’ verse!

  1. I am always astounded at the clarity of Mikes poems and verse.
    It would be nice to see them wrapped up in a book.

      1. Funny you should say that – yet again you’ve quoted directly from the wife! Has she been tipping you off about me?……..wanders off as a fit of paranoia takes hold…….debates issue with himself hoping the neighbours don’t hear; then goes outside for nicotine to ponder the point.

      2. How very English – the ‘chippie.’ My they are all Indian takeaways now for there are no fish in the North Sea these days – let alone the batter shortage since Kylie Minogue decided it was a fine moisturizer! ‘

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