Breaking News: Shock waves and condemnation from around the globe as news breaks of atheist Sue Dan getting ‘stoned’ just weeks after giving birth to baby ‘Moonbeam’ her child by husband, agnostic Nige Eira! When interviewed hubby Nige commented, “I think it’s disgusting she got stoned just weeks after the birth. In my opinion she … More OUTRAGE AS ATHEIST GIRL ‘STONED’ AFTER MARRYING AND HAVING CHILD BY AN AGNOSTIC!
The war won and Planet Earth all theirs. Now is the time for several of the scallywag alien giants to provide urine samples at the STD clinic the medics have set up high above Chelmsford.
“Crumbs Juniper there’s a God awful pong about the lounge this morning. I’m guessing you’ve been on the pulses once more?” “Yes Denzel darling I did venture toward the curried red lentil savouries at Marigold’s little soirée in aid of the impoverished earwig herders of Cumbria last evening. Rather overdid it I think.” “You certainly … More JUNIPER CHERRY-BLOSSOM – THE PULSE EATING VEGAN
“Oh Derek luv I’m glad you turned up. While you’re here I’ll just get out of me sun lounger so you can tell me if my bum looks big in this new bikini.”
“I say Carruthers you do look all of a muddle this morning. Penny for your thoughts old chum.” “Oh it’s nothing much – just something Deirdre said last evening.” “What was that then?” “Well there we were over dinner, me as happy as a sand boy chatting on about this and that when Deirdre, quite … More CARRUTHER’S MARRIAGE IS OVER AS DEIRDRE DEPARTS ‘ONCE AND FOR ALL’
Under cross-examination The accused When questioned By the surly barrister Could only answer “She was gagging for it!” The jurors gasped The accused Was ordered by the The Judge To elaborate “She was gagging For food for her children A roof over their heads Gainful employment Safety and security Peace and quiet I … More SHE WAS GAGGING FOR IT
The year is 1802. Poet William Wordsworth and his sister Dorothy have just returned to Dove Cottage where both have recently taken up residence (don’t even go there!) in the Lake District having, a little earlier in the day had a jolly good constitutional walking about Glencoyne Bay in Ullswater just up the road a … More WILLIAM WORDSWORTH SUFFERS FROM ‘POETS BLOCK’