HARRY & SHEILA – A verse of lunacy!


There was no two ways about it,

Harry was quite fat,

He’d eaten all the burgers,

The fruit cake and the cat.


He’d eaten till his tummy,

Burst the buttons on his shirt,

He’d eaten till his mother,

Had to go out and work,


To pay for his great appetite,

To pay for his new clothes,

For he grew ever bigger,

And he needed more of those.


He had a friend called Sheila,

She ate salad for a time,

But then she gave up eating,

No longer was she fine.


She got skinnier and skinnier,

She looked just like a stick,

Only when it came to eating,

Did Sheila become thick.


Whilst Harry just got fatter,

And Sheila just got thin,

Their normal mate, named Alphonse,

Thought it best that he butt in.


Alphonse made a suggestion,

At first it seemed extreme,

That Harry just eat nothing,

And Sheila eat ice cream.


“But what about the nutrients”,

All the doctors cried,

“You’ve got to have the nutrients,

You need them to survive”.


“Guess I hadn’t thought of that,”

Said Alphonse pensively,

“Best Sheila eats some complex carbs,

And Harry goes meat free.”


27 thoughts on “HARRY & SHEILA – A verse of lunacy!

      1. Seriously bad sleep! Every so often I get into an ‘I can’t stop thinking’ mode (not depression or anything like that). Weird. In truth that’s why we sold the business for I would often be awake thinking for days at a time! The daft thing is most of the things I think about are unimportant in the global plan of things.

      2. I’m sorry, that really sucks! I often have that same thing going on because of my Asperger’s brain. My son does too, so we’re both up til all hours until we pass out from exhaustion. Maybe for you it’s time to switch the coffee and tea to decaf?

      3. Been on decaf for years now. I most often get to sleep in a matter a seconds – sleep really deeply for one or two hours then wake up never to return to slumber. I have tried everything to no avail. Oddly an excess of alcohol works yet whilst I like a glass or two of red wine I refrain from over drinking for obvious reasons. Still Shirl and I have decided to take a few days away in France next week – that sometimes helps and we both love France. In fact it is my favourite place – it is just 20 miles across the Channel from where we live and is visible most days from here on the Kent coast.

      4. Oh, wow! That sounds like a lot of fun! I was just talking to a friend of mine tonight over dinner and he has traveled the world and told me his least favorite place was France because they were so rude to Americans. I don’t know if it’s really true, but I’d still love to see it one day. That really stinks that you can’t get more sleep than that. Did you watch those Twilight Zones I emailed you?

      5. A tad harsh methinks. The French adore children (Catholic family values – I’ll grant the Catholics that) as we discovered when G was small. If one tries to converse then they are the finest hosts imaginable. The things is a lot of English speaking nations (yours and mine predominantly) expect them to understand us and we don’t make the effort. France, with all its history, culture and fine cuisine does it for me (subjective I know). By the way we were out walking the White Cliffs on Monday and met with many US tourists – all in good spirits I can report!

      6. I believe your account. I can see the need to speak the language where you are visiting and not expecting them to cater to the intruder. Luckily whenever I do get to visit, I at least have a couple of years of French under my belt. (Of course we got a lot of that here as you know.) I honestly think Americans are probably one of the rudest bunch and we come across as the most uneducated compared to a lot of Europe. Many Europeans that I know who are not English, did at least learn English in school and have a fairly good grasp of the language for the most part. And I also notice that many Europeans seem to know a good deal of what’s going on in American news and politics, when sadly a lot of us don’t even know what’s going on here ourselves… Especially in the southern part where I’m from. Not to mention a lot of racism and intolerance. It’s embarrassing that other people must think we’re all like that.

      7. You know the only Americans I’ve ever come across that I didn’t take to were a coach load of pensioners at the Eiffel Tower some years back. They didn’t seem to appreciate Paris! Stepped of their coach with negativity in their hearts. Other than that the outgoing ‘go for it’ attitude of Americans I have met with is something I admire a lot.

      8. Well, probably the ones I mentioned can’t afford to cross the pond because they’re too busy buying redneck toys such as big trucks and race paraphernalia. (Yes, there’s a lot of THAT here.) Lucky you! 🙂 Have you ever been to the U.S.?

      9. Oh no! 😦 Well, you’re probably not missing much. I bet it’s a lot more beautiful where you live, and you have the French Disneyland I believe so that’s not even lost to you.

  1. And why not, I say – dieting, healthy eating, keeping fit, you’re too fat, you’re too skinny, you need more of this and less of that… on every corner and I reckon Alphonse has something new – no dilly-dallying, right to the heart of things, simple and simple … good for the fat, good for the thin…:D

  2. Covering anorexia and obesity in one poem! Great stuff…and the picture is shocking! You think that guy ever managed to get out of that chair?
    Come to think of it, one could write an entire poem on what it must be like to be that chair:S

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