CARRUTHERS HAS A FIRM WHOPPA OF SIGNIFICANT GIRTH!

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“I say Carruthers I’ve just had the strangest private meeting with the American Ambassador.”

“How so old chap?”

“Well it was just the two of us discussing something or other – do you know what I’ve quite forgotten what we were talking about, couldn’t have been that important – when just as we were breaking up he said, ‘Well that’s Fine and Dandy.’ So I answered ‘Where?’ And he had the bleddy nerve to call me a bleddy stupid limey twat no less. He stormed orf after that in a huff. I mean it’s not on is it? For all I knew he could have had a couple miniature poodles up his sleeve you know what those Yanks are like. The very cheek of it!”

“Nought so strange as folk. Think about this my friend. Just yesterday I returned to the house after a relaxing afternoon watching Svetlana – you know our pretty little housemaid heralding from somewhere east of Calais – gardening in just her bikini and wellies and had barely got my foot through kitchen door when Deirdre quite unprompted said, ‘Gosh that’s a whoppa you’ve got there and it looks so very firm,’ at which she added, ‘Look at the girth do you mind if I touch it?'”

“Golly, what on earth was she talking about?”

“Not a bleddy clue! As I said I had only just come back with the very best one of this season’s crop of marrows so I just ignored her. Yet when I asked if she’d mind if I got Svetlana to assist me in giving the beauty a stuffing by hand she threw a fit and referred to me as a sick, sick man!”

“Gosh life is ever so complicated. Fancy a swifty at the club?”

Bleddy right I do.”

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9 thoughts on “CARRUTHERS HAS A FIRM WHOPPA OF SIGNIFICANT GIRTH!

  1. “Giving the beauty a stuffing.”…brilliant, with a picture to match! I mean, having seen the picture before hand I was expecting a joke in the endowment category, but Carruthers never ceases to amaze and surprise!

      1. Well, don’t be ashamed. It’s rather a charming quality…not exactly an asset that would make Darwin proud, but I feel it’s a very benign kind of shortcoming;)

  2. I have some problem with understanding some slang expressions, but I got the general “massage”.
    Touching such delicate topics on WordPress is truly masterful.

    Footnote…

    I did not catch this one…

    Well that’s Fine and Dandy

    You don’t have to explain it if you don’t want to. Just curious. I could understand the play with words about Hugh Crane, but this one eludes me.

    1. ‘Fine & Dandy’ is one from the USA meaning everything is ‘good.’ Being an idiot Carruthers chum took it be the case that there were others – possibly the ambassadors pets in the meeting room with them. Sorry for the confusion Sir. Cheers for reading it!

      1. I knew that expression, but miss the pet connection.
        Great post about civil servants…

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