Polish Armed Forces On Full Alert As UKIP Voter Orders Tiger Tank Online

On a shameful day for the UK my good friend Lord Daniel Soz restores – for once – a degree of sanity via the vehicle of sublime satire.


tiger tank

Mr Robertson-Smythe and friends pictured rumbling into Dorking last night.

Polish troops were mobilised and put on full alert last night as reports came in that a United Kingdom Independence Party supporter had placed an order for a decommissioned World War II German Tiger Tank.

Polish Defence Minister Lech Vorzinsky told waiting reporters  “It’s probably nothing but you can’t be too careful can you? After all look what happened the last time”

The man who ordered the tank, Rupert Robertson-Smythe, a 56 year old arc welder from Kingston, Surrey and a long time supporter of the far right movement was unrepentant when told of the furore.

“Talk about over-reaction! I haven’t even annexed The Sudentenland yet!”


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23 thoughts on “Polish Armed Forces On Full Alert As UKIP Voter Orders Tiger Tank Online

  1. let’s not jump to conclusions

    he may just want to get to work on time and plans to use the tank to deal with slow-moving traffic on the M25 ?

      1. Praise indeed and praise appreciated yet I tell you what young Rachel check out his sozsatire.wordpress.com blog as well. I am not just paying lip service when I say he is the best satirist I’ve ever come across – and I include the internationally well known ones in that. I can write a bit – indeed love writing – yet Clive has the mark of genius. Some are born true nutters; others such as yours truly aspire to be one. He knows more words than me as well!

      2. Hmph! You’re kicking me to the curb! 😉

        I do follow his blog, but now I shall make it a point to visit there more regularly. I think both Clive and Gary are very funny indeed, but your writing just grips me. I think because you can be satirical and quippy, yet you also display a serious side which makes you more 3-D.

      3. Please do not think I’m kicking you to the curb – I’d be mortified if you thought that. It’s just that I rate Clive’s skills as far above my own. Mind you the 3D bit has appeal – ever since I got run over by a steam roller I’ve longed to be 3D again – by the way I once met a man who had been run over by one!

      4. Did – its true. I wrote a paragraph about him once somewhere. I say try and seek it out for it was a funny conversation I had with him!

      5. It must not have ran all of him over, just his legs or some other appendage. When I was a paralegal, we had a case where a little man was backed over with a similar piece of heavy equipment. Because he was so short, the driver couldn’t see him. The photos were quite graphic where his brain and intestines shot out of each end. 😦

      6. Well my bloke lived in a ‘flat’ and never bothered to carry door keys as he slipped through the gap. I will dig out his short, sorry tale though. It amused me at the time.

      7. It’s a very popular children’s book. Stanley Lambchop and his younger brother Arthur are given a big bulletin board by their father to display pictures and posters. He hangs it on the wall over Stanley’s bed. During the night the board falls from the wall, flattening Stanley in his sleep. He survives and makes the best of his altered state, and soon he is entering locked rooms by sliding under the door, and playing with his younger brother by being used as a kite. One special advantage is that Flat Stanley can now visit his friends by being mailed in an envelope. Stanley even helps catch some art museum thieves by posing as a painting on the wall. Eventually, Stanley is tired of being flat and Arthur changes him back to his proper shape with a bicycle pump.

        The book is from 1964, but even now, kids get a Flat Stanley coloring page at school, and they color him and cut him out, then they mail him to friends around the country, grandparents, etc., and the recipient is supposed to take a photo with Flat Stanley by something native to the place where he traveled and email it to the teacher and the class gets to see where all their Stanleys went.

        But of course you could adapt Superhero Flat Man for adults but probably still use some of Flat Stanley’s tricks for getting around.

      8. Sweet! Let me know what you thought. Ask your grandkids if they’ve ever heard of him. If so, you could have taken him to France with you on your recent holiday. 🙂 Then you wouldn’t have looked like a pervert to take a photo of the sign at the girls’ school. 😀

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