CARRUTHERS IS ORF TO THE CLUB TO GET AS ‘FULL AS A GYPSIES BRA’

“I say Carruthers I hear on the grapevine you met up with Deirdre last evening. How did it go?”

“Disaster old chum. I mean I simply wished to chat over our marital difficulties – indeed hoped I could talk her around to returning to the estate. Yet she was having none of it. She even told me that I was as much use as, ‘A eunuch in a brothel.’ Can you believe it?”

“Yes, women can be the very cruellest of creatures I find.”

“There’s more to it though. I do believe her sexual – such a loathsome word – preferences are on the turn.”

“How so?”

“Well when the waitress at The Ritz came over to take the drinks order Deirdre ignored the poor girl completely and said to anyone who might care to listen – at some volume I might add – ‘I going to have Dee Caff’ then added, ‘I just adore the taste of Dee Caff.’ I didn’t know where to look for embarrassment.”

“My God man, who is this Dee Caff woman? Do you know her – a neighbour perhaps?”

“Haven’t a blind clue. Must be someone she’s met recently – you know since she left me. Anyway a little later she made to leave for her new lodgings.”

“I never for one moment had her marked down as a girl’s girl although it may be just a passing phase. I mean I recently heard of a blond les…..les…bian….is that the right word….think so….any how I recently heard of a blond les…les…lesbian who kept having affairs with men no less so all hope of a reunion can’t be lost Carruthers. Keep your spirits up and all that.”

“Who pray is Les Bian? Sounds like a spanner in the works to me.”

“No Les Bian is not a specific chap it’s a name for girls who prefer other girls to men. And thank you Tiffany typing away in  the corner as you are for confirming the accuracy of the word I used although there was probably no need for you to add, ‘God give me strength’ though!”

“Whatever, it’s hard you know, so very hard the house is so empty without her. Damn it I’m orf to the club to get as full as a gypsies bra.”

“I think I’ll join you.”