All the gals did envy her

And she filled the chaps with lust

She was well read and intelligent

Also noted for her bust!


A bohemian of free spirit

A wanton seductress

In the company of her lovers she was

Famed for her suppleness


I’d heard the whispers and the rumours

That she sought my company

And thus it was I strove to  look her up

In St Petersburg you see


For that is where she had announced,

Announced to one and all

She’d arrive in early summer

And remain there until fall


So imagine my displeasure arriving

In Mother Russia on that day

Only to discover she had changed her mind

And simply gone away


Eventually I caught up with her

In Italy, 1964

A clandestine meeting was arranged

At Portofino, near the shore


She looked me up and down then smiled

On that perfect afternoon

‘You like la dolce vita?

We make love by the full moon’


Crikey she’s not backward in coming forward

Was my first thought I must confess

And a full moon was due that night

I could but acquiesce


Imagine then my sorrow

As day turned into night

I turned up as we had agreed

Yet she advised, ‘Best we meet up at first light’


I stayed awake, went to a bar

Knocking back the vino

Slightly the worse for wear

I lost a fortune in the casino


Still as the dawn was breaking

She and I met up again

‘I’m busy, we’ll met at luncheon,

Sorry to be such a pain’


Restless from thinking all about

An erotic liaison laid on a plate

I tried my best to take a snooze

Failed miserably; such is fate


At lunch she prevaricated

Said meet her at her hotel at half past three

I concluded that if I didn’t get my leg across soon

It would be the very death of me


Yet as I was shown to her room

And found her lying naked on the bed

My tiredness quite caught up with me

And I slept like the dead


When I eventually awoke

She’d left a note fixed to the door

Saying, ‘I expected a stallion not a gelding,

And by the way like a pig you snore’




    1. You don’t know how true that – so she claims it to be is! Given the fact I fall asleep instantly yet only sleep three hours max and Shirley doesn’t get to sleep until about 2am earliest we have long since had separate bedrooms. We have the very best of marriages yet have to live like a King and Queen on the sleeping front.

      1. It is in point of fact bliss – every insomniac couple should do this where possible. We’re off to France and Belgium shopping tomorrow by the way so I’ll catch up with your posts a little later or maybe on Thursday! She intends to spend lots of money…gulp!

    1. Ah the old Russian accent – a sore point with me as Svetlana the waitress at a rather nice cafe we use has left without a trace yet unbeknownst to her she had been the muse to several (well quite a lot actually) of my skits and she spoke just like you writ it!

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