As he parked his bum upon the timber seat of Mr Singh’s bicycle pulled rickshaw on that fateful afternoon little did fanatical globetrotter Ludwig Von Stamplicker know that this would be his last day on earth. Just an half an hour previous Ludwig had enjoyed a stupendous lunch, one so favoured by East Londoners, namely … More DICK ‘The Tomato Ketchup Killer of Whitechapel’ MALONE
Your tiny hand is frozen Your nose is dripping too From the look of it you’ll throw up soon It could be the death of you As you lie there in the your sick bed Bereft and chucking up a bit Your clothes insufficient for such cold conditions And I see you’ve now thrown … More YOUR NOSE IS DRIPPING TOO!
An extract from the diaries of Twattersley Fromage MBE – History Explained! How could I have known at the time, drunk as a skunk as I then was that my brief encounter with Svetlana’s headboard would leave its permanent mark upon the history of the infernal bickering’s twixt royal sovereigns? Best I begin at the … More SVETLANA’S HEADBOARD OF CIRCUMSTANCE
All her life She had wanted legs Proper legs With feet, ankles, calves, knees and thighs Yet circumstance Had afforded her Nought but wheels Small wheels at that Little wrought iron ones Wheels that required Constant care Oiling and such like Notwithstanding her shortcomings She got out and about Best she could That is, … More THE MAN IN THE BRETON SHIRT
What with it being so close to Christmas, coupled with the fact that we are moving house shortly after the festive season I shall be taking a short break from blogging. The thing is my lovely wife is, even as I write heavily into packing things away; choosing new curtains and other stuff for the … More A SHORT BREAK FROM BLOGGING
On or about 1746; Douai, France: John Francis Wade, son of a cloth merchant and top English hymnist of his day is now living in Northern France. You see the poor sod that he is, John Wade a devout Catholic, has had to flee religious persecution in England following the 1745 Jacobite rebellion being quashed. … More ‘O COME ALL YE FAITHFUL, JOYFUL AND………QUITE BOOZED UP’ AS JOHN FRANCIS WADE SUFFERS LYRICISTS BLOCK!
In answer to your question No I haven’t killed your cat Your dog or your reptiles Nor your stupid bloody bat Admittedly I frowned at them Just the other day For when you let them out to frolic They do quite often stray Here into my garden Which is my pride and joy … More ERIC THE CROCODILE’S POTENTIAL