“Do you think you’ll ever marry?”

I asked of my precious Pearl

“I think you really ought you know

For you are a diamond of a girl”


“I’m not sure I’m ready for

A commitment marital

Not now, nor in the future

The prospect doesn’t interest me at all”


And there was me a thinking

An honest woman of her I would make

Yet alas her mind was made up

Capturing Pearl would be no piece of cake


It was thus I played my trump card

One I felt might be the clincher

And should it come to pass it worked

From any other suitors I would pinch her


“Oh Pearl, oh Pearl my dearest

For you are my one true love

Should you let me walk you down the aisle

Then I’ll place you above


All of the gals I’ve ever known

For none compare to you

And the way you fill your pretty frock

Quite leaves me in a stew


Besides I’ve inherited great riches

From my now deceased Mama

Plus an estate in the English Shires you know

As well as a Rolls Royce car”


At this my Pearl did contemplate

She took time out to think

Then looked me sweetly in the face

And with her good eye she threw me a wink


“Yes indeed I’ll marry you

Now your fortunes are on the up

Yet do not think for one tiny moment

You’ll get to sip from my loving cup


Certainly not in the boudoir

The lounge, nor in the shower

For there is no way on God’s earth

That of me you will deflower


Our relationship will remain platonic

And should you agree that’ll be your fate

Yes, you’ll have my hand in marriage

Until I divorce you for one half of your estate”


I found the terms that Pearl did offer

Both unfair and somewhat askew

So changing tack completely I said

“May I at least get but one jolly good screw?”


Pearl had herself another grand think

Then she did answer to me thus

“Give me 10 grand in crisp new notes

And you’ll get your shag without the fuss


Of engagement, stag nights, weddings

Honeymoons and such

For in reality I know your type

And it is merely my body you desire to clutch”


“Have you been reading my mail?”

Was my swift riposte

Yet in hindsight Pearl’s plan was a spiffing one

And I would get the very thing I wanted most!


£10k is rather a lot mind!



    1. Then you have never had the misfortune of booking a hotel room near the railway station in Toulouse! What a shock Shirley and I had discovering we were in the red light district where one good eye was at a premium!

    1. The thing is when push comes to shove us chaps are very weak souls and if one has £10k spare then…best not go there!….Shirl I’ve got a spare fiver you wouldn’t mind would you? She just said ‘no way’! Ah well back to the keyboard and my (yet another WP mess up) latest missing post!

    1. Pearl should have been a skit not a poem – I might use her again…if and when this house ever gets sorted! Every time we take a step forward in an old house there’s always a step back…still her garden is taking shape now. I’ll get her to post a few pics soon.

      1. Ah young Rachel the weather lead us to believe spring had finally sprung 25 degree (centigrade that is) then the next day the wind from the east returned and we froze our bits off! There will be photos soon…the garden is taking shape (needs a couple of big leylandii trees to sadly have to come down – horrible fast growing pines if you don’t have them in the States) and the house…well still one step forward two steps back as in we sort out one problem and find another! We are enjoying it though! What about you…news woman we want news!

      2. I’ve been so busy with the new job and taking care of me mum, I hardly have time to sleep. It’s all getting old really fast, as well as maddening, but I am saving a nice big vacation fund to cross the Atlantic with. I’ve sure missed blogging with you!

      3. Keep up the good work…a break always feels well deserved after having done shedloads of work! Yes, blogging is not the same without my best chum being there!

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