TIFFANY BANGED UP IN FRANCE!

tiffany
Foreign Office, London, April 1941: Tiffany, until recently just another working girl undertaking secretarial duties with the Foreign Office in London is now, having been seconded by British Special Operations something of a national treasure – or rather she should be! The mission she undertook in Northern France with the assistance of the French Resistance has been an unparalleled success. Following her brave exploits a worthwhile number of German bombers have been disabled or destroyed never again able to unleash their destructive capabilities upon old Blighty. However, in her attempts to flee France, Tiffany has been captured by the Gestapo and now languishes behind bars ready to face whatever fate awaits her. News of her successes and current demise now reach her employers;

“I say Carruthers just got another update from young Tiffany over there in war torn France via this rather confusing Morse code thingy.”

“Nice girl. Hope she’s still having a whale of a time. What has she got to say of herself?”

“Well at least it’s in English this time albeit a little Spartan in terms of content. More like a postcard than a missive. Still never mind, it reads thus;

Germans Taken Out STOP…Banged Up STOP…Too Late To Abort STOP…Rescue Me STOP

“That’s all she says I’m afraid. What do you think she’s on about?”

“Silly, silly girl. When will these youngsters ever learn? What a bloody waste – she’s gone and got herself pregnant. Even worse, from what I interpret of her message, by a Hun no less. Fraternising with the enemy – she’ll be tarred and feathered of course, those Frenchies really don’t take kindly to collaborators. Maybe as she’s obviously ‘with child’ they might show a little mercy but oh what a tale of woe. Deary, deary me.”

“So there’s nothing to be done I suppose?”

“Nothing at all old chap. Crikey all that depressing news from Tiffany almost put me off the thought of a liquid lunch – emphasis on ‘almost’ of course! You up for it?”

“Absolutely I am.”

This story is part 2 following on from yesterday’s post;

https://mikesteeden.wordpress.com/2014/02/11/carry-on-tiffany-an-account-of-young-tiffanys-ww2-covert-mission-to-northern-france/

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18 thoughts on “TIFFANY BANGED UP IN FRANCE!

    1. Final episode of Tiffany tomorrow then on to Perky Butts…we are about halfway through 24 hours of rain here so I really had no excuses re the writing of Perky Butts…have tried but not a single line made me laugh…once more back to the drawing board.

    1. You see this raises yet another head transplant question. Say the previous owner was cocaine addicted and snorted (not in the way you just meant) would he…I think he is more appropriate than ‘she’ in this instance…still retain said addiction. I think your post today is going to give rise to a bout of insomnia!

      1. Interestingly enough, I was drinking Coca Cola when I wrote the bit about snorting. So glad I didn’t write that I almost snorted coke out of my nose.
        Now, as to the addiction issue re: head/brain transplantation. More than likely previous owners would be screened as to substance abuse. Of course he might lie in which case the unsuspecting owner of the new head might find himself lurking about in the most unsavory sections of town. Of course without his old head he wouldn’t think anything of that. Ay carumba!

      2. Say though the drug addicts head was the only clinical ‘match’ – it was either that or die! Could the recipient of the new head impose his very pure soul upon the incoming head of a drug addled lunactic. As an atheist you will understand the difficulty I have with this hypothesis! Jolly good fun having a ‘think’ though!

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