Foreign Office, London, May 1941: Erstwhile office girl from the Foreign Office now a special agent conducting covert duties against the German invaders in Northern France had, following a successful mission disrupting Luftwaffe capabilities been captured by the Gestapo. However her chivalrous partner in espionage, Francois of the French Resistance movement has come to Tiffany’s rescue. Having given her prison guard a savage beating Francois and Tiffany have affected an escape and are now holed up in a safe house in the Pas de Calais region. We join the story as news of her get away reaches her bosses at the Foreign Office in London;

“I say Carruthers this Morse code thingy is making a racket again. I think a new message or other is coming through. That’s the second time in as many weeks – will the bledy thing never cease its constant drivelling’s? Oh look it’s a new update from Tiffany over there in war torn France.” 


“Tiffany, you must remember her. She was the secretary Special Op’s seconded for undercover duties because she was the only person in England who spoke French.” 

“Oh yes, that Tiffany gotcha now. What’s the girl got to say for herself then?” 

“Well once all these dots and dashes are sorted out…ah yes……here we go then;

Have escaped the clutches of the guards STOP…Francois knocked one out for me STOP…Am in his hands at safe house STOP…Francois says if I keep watch he will come for me soon STOP…He offers me his weapon and two rounds STOP…I tell him I cannot manage all of it STOP…Francois has re-joined me here STOP…Francois now believes I need some fresh meat inside me STOP…He has gone to find provisions STOP…Maybe I will fancy a little something later STOP…He says he will knock me up quietly when he returns STOP…Francois returns grappling with his gear STOP…We hear someone at the door of safe house now STOP…Francois concerned that someone has grabbed knob STOP…Must hide in wardrobe now STOP…Francois says, ‘open it up and see if I can squeeze in’ STOP…I say pardon me! He says ‘I mean the wardrobe door silly’ STOP I send message of my position later when I have the time to slip one in STOP

“Well that’s all mumbo jumbo to me. What’s the girl on about that’s what I’d like to know?” 

“Seems to me she’s spending too much time enjoying herself and not enough time on the job! That’s the trouble with these young gals. Put one near a Jonny Foreigner lothario type and they forget the world around them exists. Doesn’t she realize there’s a bloody war on? Never heard the like of it!” 

“Oh well, now that the club’s been bombed out by the Hun do you fancy a large one at Harry’s Bar on The Strand? It’s not quite up to our usual standards yet I’m told the ale is just about drinkable.” 

“Needs must when the devil drives! Shame about the club though.” 

AND THAT IS THE FINAL PART OF THIS TRILOGY! – The previous two episodes can be found at;



    1. She makes it home safe and sound in the end…got bored with it yet have a rather ‘rude’ – to those who choose to think so – Carruthers I’ve just penned for next week. It’ll be my usual old toot of course yet, for once I rather liked the writing of it!

  1. Well … I’ve caught up with general proceedings and what-have-you and all I can say is what an astoundingly exciting and well told tale that was. It had me by the seat of my pants and that is going something. Tell you something though old bean … if I was the only person in England who could speak French then I’d tootle off to the jolly old South of France and annoy the locals by speaking only English and stealing all the local totty.
    Really enjoyable. All the best. Kris

  2. Yes, really, what does come of Tiffany?? Does she find true love with what’s his name?? Do they get captured by the enemy?? Does Carruthers ever find out how a morse code machine really works?? Think we need another episode Mike!

    1. A third request for news of Tiffany…as I just said to Marissa this is a job for Twattersley…he shall attempt to bring her home. By the way shortly after writing these a while back I did a Tiffany story when she was horrendously anorexic – maybe I’ll re-run that sometime!

    1. I have written an extra bit…a finale…yet upon reread there was a a bit I wasn’t happy with…there’s double entendre and downright coarseness and my thing fell into the latter category. A swift re-write called for!

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