THE BIRD FACTOR

jack the bird

Jack the Crow did gangster rapping,

up high in his oak tree,

Chantal the Gull sung power ballads,

at the seaside, on the quay

 

Peter Sparrow tweeted,

in places far and wide,

just where the fancy took him,

with no bird at his side

 

Then an impresario,

had a good idea,

let’s have a singing contest,

for the birds that all live here

 

Seduced by fame and fortune,

and some celebrity,

many birds did enter,

this singing fest for free

 

The Woodpecker was supported,

by her very small Blue Tits,

a Blackbird and a Jenny Wren,

Both sung some Beatles hits

 

Each week the birds all voted off,

the ones they didn’t like,

first gone was a Wood Pigeon,

“Get off son, on your bike”

 

The next loser was a Budgie,

followed by a Jay,

things were hotting up now,

Birds of Britain had their say

 

Then the grand finale,

it finished after dark,

the winner was a Nightingale,

who only entered for a Lark!

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31 thoughts on “THE BIRD FACTOR

      1. Seriously Mike!! Small blue tits?? What doesn’t fit into a champagne glass is a waste?? I knew you were a bit confused but I did think your mind was properly ensconced in the gutter. Give you one more chance on this one.

      2. I’m guessing here that an alien girl (rather lovely from all accounts) from the planet Zorg would (or might have) small blue thing-a-me-jigs and that over time living with with her new best friends in Pars might have got a taste for champagne…so much so that she became an alcoholic and ended up in the gutter…is that spot on or what?

    1. Christmas songs for our feathered friends…do you know last Christmas and old pal sent us a card which read, ‘Santa Comes But Once A Year But When He Does He fills Your Stocking’ – rather liked that!

      1. The wife used to say that about me…oh how I pray for a bungalow (with reference to your post yesterday do the Republicans know ‘bungalow’ is an Indian word now firmly fixed in the English and American dictionaries?’ Certainly our Conservatives don’t.

  1. Inspired by the divine, your comment nearly undid this bra…that’s BRA as in BRAW, ie good, no in the supporting act for the tiny and frozen blue tits… POEM, There, said it Great post and great comment x

    1. If only I had been granted the gift of undoing a bra with a mere comment…my how my life would have been different. You see I’ve always suffered from the Englishman’s lamentable bra removing disease namely ‘the pathetic fumble’ and never from the front for that is impossible…my wife can verify my inadequacies in that regard

      1. Lol… Oh and have you seen in films how they just shag through their pants… Sorry, but films and books make it all seem so simple! You know something, I like writing about bad sex…and by that I mean times where the stocking doesnae come off or there’s a fumble. Let’s face it, I am sure your wife would well verify your ‘adequacy’ in every way and that’s what counts.! x

      2. I think -although they were not at the time – the failures of youth in that regard are now some of my most treasured memories. The errors of judgement and indeed action were profoundly embarrassing!

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