When you offered me a biscuit I was startled

For I was off with the fairies you see

Hence the shock of a barrel being thrust in my face

Caused me to spill my hot cup of tea


On the face of it that was not too bad

Yet said tea it sploshed onto my lap

It was thus the boiling hot beverage

Threw me into a bit of a flap


Clutching my scorched groin I dropped to the floor

Contemplating first degree burns at best

I mentioned to you my discomfort

That the family jewels were becoming distressed


My how you laughed when I said that

You don’t know how cruel you can be

For all that I wanted that afternoon at home

Was to enjoy the contentment of tea


30 thoughts on “A BOILING HOT CUP OF TEA

    1. Many years ago when people drove cars pissed as a rat as a matter of course I, with Zippo lighter recently fueled beyond the logical within jeans pocket was driving off down the next pub. The bastard thing leaked about my parts…twas worse than taking a pee with unwashed mitts post slicing chilies I can tell you…but that was when I was immortal

    1. My wife is perhaps the most clumsy woman on earth…she herself has many a scar about her person. As a child they used to use her to test the durability of Tonka toys I think!

    1. Cheers…I took a long cold shower yet not for the usual reasons! No harm done in the end…my lovely wife seemed a tad disappointed there were no scars though!

      1. For all intents and purposes he is an only child I suppose what with the other three coming from my first marriage…she’s attacked me with a hairdryer; poured hot tea upon me and in her family (this is 100% true) there is a great aunt who took a shotgun (husband was a farmer so the gun was allowed) to her wayward husbands…well you know where!…and he died (went to prison yet was let off when the court heard just what a pervert the husband had been etc.); then there was another aunt who waited until her drunkard husband was fast asleep in a stupor and clawed him incapable…well you know where…I often wonder about Shirl’s next endeavour in that regard!

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