SMOKING A BIG FAT HAVANNA

rosie 2

She returned in a ‘seen better days’ Tiger tank
Purloined from a retreating Waffen SS
Smoking a big fat Havana
Still half decent yet in a state of undress

“I spotted this on our Ardennes offensive
Thought to leave it behind such a crime
Had a bit of a tussle with the driver all told
Yet won out and now it’s all mine!

It’s rather a dandy old timer
With Schnapps galore in the hull
So if you chaps fancy getting walloped tonight
Rest assured things will be far from dull”

What I loved about Rosie
Was how she took it all in her stride
Fearless and brave, a corker of a gal
Never one to go run and hide

She was first in when we liberated Paris
Took a glass of champagne in Montparnasse
Young men hovering about her like blow flies
All of them in awe of her ass

I remember her well outside of Berlin
She would outrace the Red Army for sure
And although it is not in the history books
She was first to knock on the Führer’s door

The war won we were airlifted back to Blighty
As ever Rosie did it in style
Wearing just an Onion Johnny and Ike Jacket
To catch a glimpse of her thus most worthwhile

Come the Cold War she shirked not her duty
Signed up with Military Intelligence, Section 5
Secret missions performed for King and country
Took many a Soviet spy dead or alive

I loved her from afar, always had, always will
Though must confess her assassin was me
A poison needle in her butt whilst out strolling
For I was in the employ of the old KGB!

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38 thoughts on “SMOKING A BIG FAT HAVANNA

      1. Saintly! I have just noted that after an afternoon gardening she is now quaffing a bottle of Swedish mixed berry cider…brazen in my book!

      2. She has just got over…or thinks she’s got over…a tannin allergy hence I experiment (she calls it that anyway) with mixed berry cider! Whether she will now attempt to purloin fine red wines from my stock is open to debate!

      3. How very kind – being PC illiterate I didn’t even know one could do that…I’d be more than happy to do the same for you and a few others…probably need my son to work out how though…I can’t even remember how to change the picture thing on my blog for something more ‘summerish’!

      4. Well, see I’m pretty ignorant of such things. I even said that wrong. I just meant I mentioned you by placing a link to your site in my post today. It’s my one year anniversary and I wanted to share the links of people who I enjoy reading and who have supported my writing.

  1. The last two lines threw me into a cold war tizzy. Where’s a good ole ICBM when you need one? Well, I suppose that would be messy. How about just chucking a personal nuclear device (PND) into Putin’s boudoir, after all, he is an alumni.

    1. Can’t make my mind up about Putin! I know he and his ilk are for example homophobic and a tad racist which is not good yet there aren’t that many leaders of big nations who have the support of their people like he does and the fuss over the Crimea we make in the West seems to ignore not a single bullet was fired in anger as 99% of Crimean’s wanted to be aligned to Russia – indeed welcomed them in. As to Ukraine as a whole it is now for all intents and purposes run by the far (extreme) right. Interesting stuff you have got me thinking about.

  2. Her ass was a source of awe and yet it was where the killing blow fell. It must have proved a very tempting target!

    1. Many thanks…she’s certainly a bit of a gal as were so many during WW2. The American photographer Ms Lee Miller had a story or two to tell in that regard…thankfully she wasn’t assassinated!

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