Svetlana is my beguiling young housemaid she looks after my every need well perhaps I should just say ‘almost’ for not on everything have we agreed You see whilst I am old and wrinkled certain ‘urges’ I still have about me yet when I have tried to seduce her she simply adds a little something … More SVETLANA TENDS TO MY ABLUTIONS
Social climber, Svetlana, would do just about anything to trap a chap, any chap really, who she thought may get ‘ahead’ in life. Re-run of an old caption from a while back…as today is Svetlana Day!
I am the rusty old sage who lives in a Frigidaire (don’t ask) A raconteur by nature, a people watcher by design “What is it you say my dear? No I’m not talking to myself again, I am about to impart a tale to anyone who might listen, that’s all…and yes I am fully aware … More UP WHERE THE PIGEONS REST
That somewhere twixt idle thought and spoken word there exists within her grey matter a temporal lacuna was beyond reasonable doubt. More examples than he had had hot dinners if the truth be told. ‘Her endearing feature’ he warily labelled it. For reasons unknown, undeserved even, she had always taken for granted that he knew … More A DOLPHIN BRAIN IN A HUMAN BODY
A preamble kiss and a bottle of cheap chilled something or other would, he felt sure score another notch on the bedpost of life. Regardless he would make his getaway as soon as she fell asleep Come dawns sweet tea she tutted the crabby tut of the recycled on behalf of ubiquitous snacks through time … More UBIQUITOUS SNACKS
Company car keys at the ready CHECK Stuffed to bursting point plastic carrier bags CHECK Wonky old suitcase, zipper knackered a bit; just the one functional wheel…bollocks CHECK Cherished vinyl’s stuffed precariously under a sweaty armpit CHECK A stolen memento (not telling) CHECK Fly buttons done up? CHECK ‘My hat…where’s my bloody hat? Forgot…I’m wearing … More FALSE MEMORIES
Ever the gentleman he held open the café door for a winsome fossil to exit only to discover that in her wake followed a wrinkle of geriatrics each mumbling regret for past doings Seemingly an eon later he would observe the throng shuffling hither and thither headless tortoises one and all in an attempt to … More A BLASÉ GENIUS PLAYING SCRABBLE WITH A DYSLEXIC COSMOS