SVETLANA TENDS TO MY ABLUTIONS

svetlana

Svetlana is my beguiling young housemaid
she looks after my every need
well perhaps I should just say ‘almost’
for not on everything have we agreed

You see whilst I am old and wrinkled
certain ‘urges’ I still have about me
yet when I have tried to seduce her
she simply adds a little something to my tea

True it dampens my ardour
yet when I wake up the very next day
those ‘urges’ come back to haunt me
Yet Svetlana still keeps me at bay

And so I sit in the dim gloom of a lit candle
to the spits and crackles of an open log fire
while Svetlana tends to my ablutions
I watch her still consumed by desire

in my old fez hat and with ear trumpet
a glass of port that never runs dry
this old mansion is not such a bad place
seen through a monocle about my weak eye

And then of course there’s my woollen blanket
at my age I get so very cold
if only Svetlana would warm my four poster
I’m guessing I would not feel quite so old

Personally I can’t see the problem
so I’m ninety six and she’s just eighteen?
with a mere modicum of encouragement
I’d be the King to her Queen

Still nighttime has once more descended
by moonlight we will go on to the moor
Svetlana has readied my bath chair
which I sit in as we exit the door

For this night I have something to show her
something I think most spectacular!
Svetlana will get more than she bargains
when I tell her I’m Count Dracula!

THE ABOVE IS ONE OF THE SILLIER POEMS FROM MY BOOK ‘GENTLEMEN PREFER A PULSE’ – available on both Amazon & Kindle

book cover 12092015

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24 thoughts on “SVETLANA TENDS TO MY ABLUTIONS

    1. Don’t talk to me about teeth…that recent fall down a flight of stairs at 4AM when I passed out cost me dear in that regard…I know already the dental bill for the remedy will be significant…he said with more than a hint of a lisp!

      1. Ah! I didn’t know about that, I’m so sorry! What’s a little Lisp among friends. Just adds to your charm I’m sure !

    1. Being ancient as I am I remain surprised that Svetlana has yet to pay heed to the fact my false teeth were fashioned in Transylvania! She does, after all put them in for me prior to breakfast each morn!

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