Had he been endowed with a shaving mirror then likely his bedraggled beard would not have housed woodlice and other isopod crustacean chums. Plainly to be the proud owner of a razor, scissors also would perhaps be an impeccable thing. As it stood the man of just flesh, bone and an inordinate amount of facial hair (sadly he was, a few stray wisps aside, as bald as a coot on top) had none of these things. Yet that was yesterday’s contemplative thought. This day Miss (irksome) Clever Clogs in her finery would pay one of her regular vexatious visitations; would invade his cherished space; upset the apple cart per usual. A part of him wanted to tell her to ‘fuck off’, good manners and a lonely contradictory solitude ensured otherwise.
“Look what do you see?”
“Me? So the big I am…the she who knows everything wants to know what I see. That’s a first, one for the record books alright…so then I’ll tell you what I see in this thing before me…‘got lucky’ smashed ceramics…how about you?”
“God you are the most soulless man ever to have lived…this thing we are looking at is a superlative, crafted mosaic…anyway if you don’t like it why do you keep it?”
“Never said I didn’t like it. You’ll see, when the clock strikes midnight all will be revealed…I know I’m right you just wait.”
“If you think I’m hanging around another bloody seven hours until midnight you’ve another think coming.”
“Who’s the soulless one now…metaphor woman, metaphor…come the end of time you’ll see this ‘thing’ is merely what it is. Like I said ‘got lucky’ smashed ceramics the previous tenant left behind.”
“Bollocks. Someone must have made it, as in pieced it together…it’s obvious. You’re quite mad you know…I’m afraid I’ll have to throw away the key this time.”
With that Miss Clever Clogs in her finery…he never did know if she had a name…left his cheerless cage for the very last time, made a show of locking the high-rise dungeon door behind her…even kicked his slops bucket over his fetid, long laid ‘once upon a time’ fresh straw mattress on the way out. His heart sank more than a little as he heard the resounding splosh of the gaol key plonking into the still water moat below the ramparts into that place the venerable croc’s hold court, and only the cadaverous were without qualms.