flat earth

From what I observed using science

Was that this world of ours could hardly be flat

Nor have an edge you can fall off

Yet The Inquisition would have none of that


Oh no, for my plausible utterings

They burnt me alive with great glee

Though not before spending a week on the rack

And so a martyr I would be


Yet scroll forward in time just a little

When cosmic study led me to point out

That to the universe the Earth wasn’t centre

‘Twas the Sun, I had little doubt


For that crime I was first garrotted

Then hung, drawn and quartered some say

In truth I have no recollection

Such was my pain on that day


Yet I bare the Pope no malice

Even though I was killed in the name

Of the religion that he is the head of

The one that should take all of the blame


For relying just on dubious scriptures

And saying that I did transgress

For when he found out that I was right,

To my concepts he did address


A twist in those very same scriptures

The ones he had used once before

To justify a change in direction

The Vatican’s image he did restore


So pity us poor scientist martyrs

In truth there was no heresy

Let the church jumble facts and twist legends

And no posthumous pardon for me!











32 thoughts on “THE SCIENTIST’S LAMENT

  1. True story–a friend of mine hired a contractor to repair her roof last week and while she was paying him he gave her an impromptu lecture on how the Bible tells us that the earth is a fixed plane, stationary in the sky. Since the man had sharp tools at his disposal, she didn’t laugh at his foolishness, only hurried him out the door while smiling and nodding.

    1. Great tale Leslie. Unbelievable in this day and age that people can take scriptures written donkey’s years after the supposed event, have been tampered with by scholars to meet their own ends; have been translated many, many times before they got written into English, as ‘historical fact’! She should have risked a swift head-butt I reckon, do give her my best wishes please!

  2. I just doesn’t pay to be right! The vatican has long way before their reputation is restored other than the reputation for being a refuge for predators.

  3. Nicely done! 😀 Per usual, I am absolutely floored by your prose.

    – btw I recently transferred my Epik Fails of History blog to a new server off of WordPress, but in doing so I lost all my WordPress followers. Just wanted to reach out and see if I could add you to the new newsletter. Feel free to E-mail me at or visit the new site at

    Thank you for all your encouragement over the years 🙂

      1. I knew you English had good taste. In America it’s 100 bottles of beer on the wall, an endless song. 10 bottles is tolerable.

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