The patron saint of gravediggers

is known as Anthony by name

yet he doubles up with the swineherders

does this Anthony of papal acclaim


then there is an unlikely patron

of truss makers can you believe?

well I’ll wager a bet he was having a laugh

was Saint Follan whilst helping relieve


the suffering of cooks griddled alive

for they have a patron as well

his name is Lawrence and quite odder still

are the jokes Saint Lawrence could tell


for his extra gig are the comedians

although this one I find hard to accept

for how come he patrons the tortured

then has a joke, when he should really have wept?


then we have Saint Dismus who patrons

the undertakers and thieves alike

personally I can’t quite see the fit

when a miscreant’s stolen the bike


of the poor, wretched undertaker

now so very late for a funeral

best call in good old Saint Michael

he’s the patron of the police after all


Saint Blaise is the patron of town criers

so I’m guessing he shouts quite a lot

yet Saint Hunna of the washer women

has a box mangle as her mascot


though the one whose job description

is that of patron of the Lottery

is good old Saint Martin de Porres

and he is also patron of black people you see


now given the history of white money

and the evil that was slavery

for Martin to end up with both gigs

seems like double standards to me!





    1. I guess there was no cost-cutting back then; no recession etc. I must check see if there is a patron saint of ‘wigs’ or would it be simpler to ask Donald?

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