“My, what have you there young Leonardo?”

“Oh this pater? In short it is a flamethrower that I have just invented. I take the view that it may not just speed up the process of cooking yet will I believe come in most useful in times of war. In point of fact as soon as the idea for construction of this brainchild of a contraption struck me I put both the project of manned flight and I might add my idea for a hamster’s treadmill on the back burner. Mind you, the concept of a microwaveable apparatus is formulating in my mind even as I speak.”

“The thing is Leonardo that by the looks of it it has the appearance of a thing that might just be a tad safer in the hands of an adult.”

“Well pater, that is exactly what mater said earlier whilst you were about your duties in town. Unfortunately when testing the flamethrower I took out her herbaceous borders and she was none too pleased I can tell you.”

“And where is mater now?”

“Ah, mater is quite safe I believe, for in order to calm her I made her a cup of another of my new ideas, namely a holistic infusion of Senokot herbal tea. In truth I may have fortified her vessel with a pinch too much Senna for, presently she sits in the lavvy with the door shut muttering, ‘God help me.’ Do hope mater pulls through.”

“Leonardo, in which of our multiplicity of lavvy’s is mater sat?”

“Oh, one of the outside ones – indeed that very one by the gazebo there.”

“What the one you are pointing your flamethrower at?”

“Yes that one – whoops. Oh dear a combination of flame I accidentally threw her way and mater’s gaseous bottom emissions have proven to be the end of her. Hell of an explosion though! Still I have had an idea buzzing about in my head for some little time now for a new-fangled reincarnation device. Best get to work then pater. Catch up with you over tiffin.”




  1. hijinx doth abound when one irrepressible polymath writes of another – brings instantly to mind the non-fictional lads I once knew who would set about lighting their farts with their zippos

  2. Pingback: YOUNG LEONARDO DA VINCI’S LIGHTSABRE | mikesteeden

  3. Just imagined a children book with the Leonardo-type sketches of the devices… Very edifying, and hilarious 🙂 Sorry I am so late with visiting your blog. We have too much of everything going on here… Two toddlers and the baby give us all a hard time…

    • Never apologize…two toddlers, hard work indeed but fun to watch and listen to I find…we, Shirl and I love kids, have 5 grandchildren. Great to see yet pleasing that we are not charged with the full parental duty of care…in some ways that makes grandchildren more fun than the ones we had to bring up 24/7!

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