AN INSIDE OUT ESCAPE FROM LOCKDOWN

Above: SHIRL’S CAFÉ & TABAC

I’ll not be blogging for a couple of weeks or so. You see, having been forced by irksome airborne germs to cancel our usual lengthy summer sojourn across La Manche to a better place, crazy woman Shirl concluded we needed a break, a holiday of sorts. Spending good money on an excursion in this land had scant appeal. The theft of our much treasured European citizenship had made double sure of that.

We required a plan. What to do to make Shirl’s concept a reality? Certainly a café where we could sit outside and watch the world go by was a must. As such, Shirl…my wife and more importantly, my lover of several hundred decades…had a stab at inventing her own French ‘café come tabac’ in what she has named her ‘bottom’ garden. She began by fashioning a French flag and ‘tabac’ sign in order we felt ‘at home’ and to make the whole thing feel realistic she bakes her own pain aux raisins, croissants and sublime, authentic baguettes…far better than the worryingly everlasting, tasteless, irrationally cushiony white bread so popular in this inelegant island.

Then, the clincher, as she added, “We shall pretend we are on holiday and do what we like, when we like, but first you must act the part, best togs, worst manners and silly photographs, escargots for me, smelly cheeses for you and, naturally, an overdose of a worthy black coffee and buckets of red wine…to be sipped. You realize this means absolutely no social media at all…I shall have to kill you if I spot you within an inch of a social distance infringement vis a vis your wretched PC.”

I agreed, although not before pointing out, “A pity I shan’t be able to watch the pretty mademoiselles promenade.”

“You can still watch the birds…the flying kind, that is. That aside, we simply do as we wish and live out our combined imaginings without offending the corona rules. In other words, forget the world outside in order that we live our locked-in fantasy world to the full.”

And that’s exactly what we shall do. See you all soon. Take care. Best wishes, The Old Fool.

~

By the way, I got a decent anonymous review for my new book, ‘The Snow White Tigress’, yesterday. It was rather heartening to read. The reviewer’s mention of ‘Frenchie’ refers to its main character, the Snow White Tigress herself. It read,

“I vote Frenchie!
Such a breath of fresh air. One for the ladies. A heroine who knows her own mind, who isn’t afraid and willingly embraces her sexual desires with no apology – exactly how it should be. A tour de force of libération féminine!”

Should it take your fancy ‘The Snow White Tigress’ is, for reasons only Amazon know, on sale in paperback for just £6 presently and can be found at;
Amazon UK link: PAPERBACK
Kindle UK link: KINDLE EDITION
Amazon US link: PAPERBACK
Kindle US link: KINDLE EDITION

I am not entirely sure of other Amazon global links and thus I apologize for not revealing them here.

I very nearly forgot, Shirl has already been streaming her French playlist outside her garden café. Below, a sample, Françoise Hardy’s ‘Le Temps de l’Amour’ that translates as ‘The Time of Love’.