AN INSIDE OUT ESCAPE FROM LOCKDOWN

tabac3

Above: SHIRL’S CAFÉ & TABAC

I’ll not be blogging for a couple of weeks or so. You see, having been forced by irksome airborne germs to cancel our usual lengthy summer sojourn across La Manche to a better place, crazy woman Shirl concluded we needed a break, a holiday of sorts. Spending good money on an excursion in this land had scant appeal. The theft of our much treasured European citizenship had made double sure of that.

We required a plan. What to do to make Shirl’s concept a reality? Certainly a café where we could sit outside and watch the world go by was a must. As such, Shirl…my wife and more importantly, my lover of several hundred decades…had a stab at inventing her own French ‘café come tabac’ in what she has named her ‘bottom’ garden. She began by fashioning a French flag and ‘tabac’ sign in order we felt ‘at home’ and to make the whole thing feel realistic she bakes her own pain aux raisins, croissants and sublime, authentic baguettes…far better than the worryingly everlasting, tasteless, irrationally cushiony white bread so popular in this inelegant island.

Then, the clincher, as she added, “We shall pretend we are on holiday and do what we like, when we like, but first you must act the part, best togs, worst manners and silly photographs, escargots for me, smelly cheeses for you and, naturally, an overdose of a worthy black coffee and buckets of red wine…to be sipped. You realize this means absolutely no social media at all…I shall have to kill you if I spot you within an inch of a social distance infringement vis a vis your wretched PC.”

I agreed, although not before pointing out, “A pity I shan’t be able to watch the pretty mademoiselles promenade.”

“You can still watch the birds…the flying kind, that is. That aside, we simply do as we wish and live out our combined imaginings without offending the corona rules. In other words, forget the world outside in order that we live our locked-in fantasy world to the full.”

And that’s exactly what we shall do. See you all soon. Take care. Best wishes, The Old Fool.

~

By the way, I got a decent anonymous review for my new book, ‘The Snow White Tigress’, yesterday. It was rather heartening to read. The reviewer’s mention of ‘Frenchie’ refers to its main character, the Snow White Tigress herself. It read,

“I vote Frenchie!
Such a breath of fresh air. One for the ladies. A heroine who knows her own mind, who isn’t afraid and willingly embraces her sexual desires with no apology – exactly how it should be. A tour de force of libération féminine!”

The Snow White Tigress front cover

Should it take your fancy ‘The Snow White Tigress’ is, for reasons only Amazon know, on sale in paperback for just £6 presently and can be found at;
Amazon UK link: PAPERBACK
Kindle UK link: KINDLE EDITION
Amazon US link: PAPERBACK
Kindle US link: KINDLE EDITION

I am not entirely sure of other Amazon global links and thus I apologize for not revealing them here.

I very nearly forgot, Shirl has already been streaming her French playlist outside her garden café. Below, a sample, Françoise Hardy’s ‘Le Temps de l’Amour’ that translates as ‘The Time of Love’.

 


32 thoughts on “AN INSIDE OUT ESCAPE FROM LOCKDOWN

  1. Have a great home-stay holiday. Love the cafe. We’ve set up a ‘cafe’ on our driveway during lockdown to enjoy the morning sunshine, whilst sipping coffee & bird watching. Time seems to pass more quickly out there, suddenly you realise over an hour has passed 😊

    1. My sincere thanks, Katey. It sounds as if you have got it right. There is a certain tranquility to be had by watching nature over a cup of coffee. Well done, keep safe. Regards, The Old Fool

  2. Love it, Mike. We share you sense of deep loss a the theft of our European citizenship. Another Murdoch blow against our country…

    1. My thanks Stephen. 1975 and earlier the 3 day week, the power cuts, the refusal of the IMF to fund the nation such was its level of debt. 1975. We have a ‘once in a lifetime’ referendum won comfortably by those of us who looked forward rather than backward with false pride at Britain’s debatable history. Within Europe we not only saved the day, we prospered and for once in modern history the nations of the continent stopped having their regular, 15 years or so years apart, terrible wars with one another. Free movement spoke for itself in terms of a worthy, for the main part, collective of like-minded nations. 40 odd years later, the lessons of history ignored, the self-centred elite with the assistance of the intellectually challenged and a bunce of racists…whether they be ‘in your face’, ‘in denial’ or ‘closet’ racist ‘win’ the day. I shall take their curse to my death bed. My apology for ranting on, Sir yet the theft still irks. Regards, The Old Fool

    1. Daft as it sounds, Ms S, I can hardly wait for tomorrow. We intend to start by cutting ourselves off from the news, the phone and rings at the front door. We’ve not once, ever done that, yet to make her idea come true, isolation of choice is the key. Mind you, her French bread means I’ll need an extra half hour in the little gym out the back…’tis either that or get fat! Have and wonderful August, you and yours, The Aging Juvenile.

  3. Great advice my dear friend, Sir. The birds and nature in all have no problem and as we are watching this we could learn something. I have almost all of your books, including the new one with the cheeky girl! Though man needs time and patience to sit and read if the crazy woman not necessarily would have always some wishes…
    Have a good time and stay safe. The old fool Nr 2

    1. Kind words Sir and my thanks vis a vis the books. You are, of course, entirely correct with your observations of life in a new, most strange world we live in. In many ways, not writing and/or overly thinking will, I hope, refresh this old mind of mine. Regards, The Old Fool

    1. My thanks, Anne. On the proviso dear Shirl doesn’t kill me, all will be well. No news, no phone, no answering the front door…save perhaps the fire brigade in an emergency…seems to be our starting point. Thereafter we shall play it by ear. Regards, The Old Fool

    1. My thanks, Liz. It seems as of the moment her eyes are telling me to turn off the PC. Have a splendid time in what is left of summer. Regards, The Old Fool

  4. Wise woman Shirl! Love your cozy cafe and admire the pastries. You so right about the ‘white bread’. So painfully right.
    Enjoy your French vacations!

  5. What’s this then?
    Taking the whole of August off are we?
    Is that even allowed for a writer?
    Nope. Uh-huh. Not on my watch, Steed!
    But no worries, my watch is almost over, and I heard the chap that follows me is a real pussy-cat. So, carry on, old boy.
    I remain,
    the under-signed,
    geo.

  6. We, too, are doing our best to escape our own way. We must do our best with what we have, yes? Please stay safe and (relatively) sane, and I pray your creative holiday sparks your muse once more! xxxxxx

  7. Your son mentioned you in his blog and so I thought I’d pop over and have a gander at what you’re doing. Turns out not so much, but look at that – your most recent post is in the 30th July – my birthday!! 😀
    Hope you’re well, Mike.
    I’m Robert from up north (York).

    1. Fortuitous, Robert. I’ve not been checking WP of late. Good to meet you, Sir. It’s been many a long year since I’ve visited York, a fine city. I am hoping to have a stab at blogging come December. Still cursed with a stress related inability to have body in synch with mind, in short, a fucking nuisance…a long term one at that. I dare say we’ll meet up again soon, indeed I look forward to it. Regards, The Old Fool

      1. Great to meet you, Mike. From the sounds of how you talk on blog we’d get on famously. But then again, I guess you’d probably get on with most people you meet (sort from the fools of course). 🙂
        Hope your coping bone stays strong and you find some time to blog again. There’s people here rooting for you.
        Have a good one, Mike.
        Robert.

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