I note I’ve been mentioned in despatches. The Whitechapel Whelk, an online rag tell of my pitiful downfall. What can I say other than, ‘fame at last’. Those special few who can create worthy satire at the drop of a hat are few and far between. They have my respect, and importantly…yes, satire is very important when it rips the **** out of the stupidity of politics and politicians…satire doesn’t come much better than of the ‘Whelk’. A fine post, Lionel, you fairly cheered me up on a freezing day.
To those outside of the UK who may not be aware of the ‘bendy banana issue’ it was, a few years back, the ‘right wing’ Brexit types who put out a false claim that the EU were going to ban said ‘bendy bananas’. Although a lie, many millions of the gullible populous fell for it. Super stuff, Lionel.
I should add, in case the Brexit brigade see fit to ensure my knighthood, that I am an old socialist and loath…with a vengeance…all things ‘right of centre’, their undisguised racism in particular. Read on;
A 97-year-old man from Kentish Town in West London was being held in police custody last night after he blasted his 101-year-old wife in the chest with a shotgun in a fit of rage after discovering that post-Brexit bananas were still curved and not straight as had been promised in pro-Brexit newspapers like The Daily Mail and The Telegraph.
Michael Steeden, a retired boating lake attendant, was held by police at his home in Chalk Farm Avenue after neighbours reported two loud gunshots.
Officers broke into the property and found Steeden sitting on the stairs with the shotgun across his knees and a banana in his hands which he appeared to be trying to straighten with a copper and hide mallet according to an eye witness.
His wife of eighty-two years, Shirley, was found in the kitchen clinging to the sink with gunshot wounds to the chest.
The injured woman…
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