Right-Wing Couple Engage In Race War Following African Link Revelation

Once more the lowlife media are on my case. Will it never end, I ask myself? Let Fleet Street and its hacks be damned. Me, the leftie with a heart of gold…the missus, less so. In essence, once again I am falsely accused of a racism of sorts. It fairly breaks my heart, a heart born of Mother Russia, as my DNA test results can confirm (true, as it happens). Indeed, I’m 87% Russian but that doesn’t make me Rasputin’s love child, does it? Beside, all he and I have in common is an all-consuming lust for strong drink.

How can this beastly columnist make accusations about me thus? For God’s sake I’m the one who sits proudly upon the lavatory seat, morning, noon and night, belting out my own rendition of left-wing song, ‘The Internationale’ while my comrades wait outside the door, many in tears.

Then there is the wife. Unless I am afflicted with a blindness, I can report she is blonde with blue eyes. Yes, it may well be the case that her father was an active devotee of the Newton Abbot, Devon, England, branch of Hitler Youth but does that automatically make her a hardened fascist? Not in my book, I have to say. So she spends her life in an olive cotton tropical Afrika Korps uniform, and has her CD of Wagner on repeat all fucking day, but so what, it means nothing. Enough I say. Enough.

That said, I am compelled to let anyone out there who might think I lean to the right that that is not the case, in part or at all. The author of this blog post I have re-blogged, one Dany Soz is bloody fine satirist; a bloody fine bloke who has my respect. When the likes of Mr Soz…and I stress, me also…chances upon others, he sees the person, not the colour of his or her’s skin.

Good fortune be on you Sir.

The Whitechapel Whelk

mike and shirleySteeden and Blamey in happier times before finding out that they both had a touch of the tar brush

An extreme right-wing couple have been attacking each other with racist slurs since discovering that all of mankind can trace its roots back to the African continent.

Mike Steeden, 80, and his 40-year-old partner, Shirley Blamey, have been locked in a bitter race war since reading about man’s links to Africa in The Guardian newspaper.

The pair, have been racially abusing one another online and have even been taunting one another with monkey chants when one of them enters a room.

Steeden, a retired caretaker from Kentish Town in West London, told us: “We used to get on like a house on fire before I found out she was basically as black as the ace of spades.

“Now, I avoid being in the same room and don’t allow her to cook…

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29 thoughts on “Right-Wing Couple Engage In Race War Following African Link Revelation

  1. Excellent! Without further ado.😁
    PS: I know you well from your books as I can still read between the lines. Take care, dear old chap. 🤗🙏

  2. Yes, it’s amazing what comes to mind during one’s yearly visit to the Turkish bath in Poplar, dear boy. I blame it on all that foreign steam…and the boogie, of course 😉
    Fond Regards to you both at this difficult time from all at The Whitechapel Whelk
    Glad you enjoyed the piece mate 🙂
    D. Soz
    Editor, head cook and bottle-washer.

  3. Oh my! I laughed at Mr. Soz’s piece until I cried! And your post made me laugh even harder! I love that Danny made the age difference so dramatic.

    1. It was a piece of subterfuge to annoy Mike and ingratiate myself with the redoubtable Shirley in one fell swoop 😉

      1. You’re a member of a not-very-exclusive club my dear, of which, I am the CEO 😛

    1. My dear wife speaks perfect Swahili as it happens. Well I think she does. Thinking again, it’s probably Greenlandic Kalaalisut…yes, that’s it. I’m not much use in a crisis when it comes to the methods of human communication.

  4. Huh!
    TOF, and here I thought all of our roots could be traced back to the Cabbage Family.
    Live and learn, eh!
    Humour is an art form, so there!

    Have you heard the term “Woke”? I just learned it. James Carvelle has a new book “We Speak for Ourselves: How Woke Culture Prohibits Progress”

    It applies here, for anyone who is upset by this humour and would smite it down.

    1. You make a good point. An ‘alert to injustice’…I confess I had to look that up…as ‘woke’ is defined makes for a sad world of bland dullards incapable of seeing and/or understanding the healthy value of quality satire. To pen words as if one supports…for example…racism via said satire, to me, and many others brings the subject matter to the fore to be debated and, when the satire is good…as is Mr Soz…his ‘humour in reverse’ makes fools of those would bore the rest of us senseless. Splendid observations , young Resa the Clever. Regards TOF

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