AN ‘ONLY CHILD’ & HIS MUM’S AMAZING GERM PHOBIA

An Unusual Take on Life and Social History from the 1950’s Onward

In a perfect world I’d have been rich and famous thus deemed worthy of penning the story of my own life. In reality I am a content ‘nowhere man’ with a vast chronicle of all things bonkers to pass on to anyone who cares to take the risk and read this factual tale I’ve pieced together.

I wrote this ‘new’ book nearly a decade ago yet did Sweet Fanny Adams with it. My line of thought was logical for two debatable reasons. Firstly, I’d heard tell that for one’s first stab it was best to write about something one knew inside out, in other words ‘me’…besides I knew little of just about anything else, save perhaps thinking obtusely throughout my waking hours, and playing the game of love as it remains the only sport I’ve ever been passionately interested in. Secondly a contradiction, namely that why on earth would an inconsequential idiot pen a book about self? It felt rather pompous in hindsight. Surely, in the global plan of things, I was, am and always will be, about as important as, put coarsely, a one legged man in an arse kicking contest. Regardless, I had presumed the remnants of that first book were lost to the ether. Then came the day when the wonderful Kim from Druid Land who had, all those years gone by, read much of this tome’s original A4 manuscript. She asked me what, if anything, I’d done with the book, adding, “I was very taken with it.”

I explained that it, most probably, no longer existed. Even so, unknown to her, Kim had got me curious. Good fortune smiled, when I came across an old external hard drive and bingo, for within its stored away multiplicity of pure drivel I stumbled upon this conceivable treatise, ‘An Only Child & His Mum’s Amazing Germ Phobia’…all 170,000 words of it!

Of course, all this time tucked away, I just had to pore over its long forgotten content. What I was to discover was the autobiography of sorts, of a self-deprecating, gentle nutter delivering his personal, almost accidental take on the social history of the period of time he had lived in. Moreover, adding a little spice, my dear deceased mother’s all-consuming germ phobia was at the very root of my farcical mediocrity in life. In general terms, the times I refer to in this book began in the 1950’s yet essentially relate to the late 1960’s into the 1970’s, then some.

Whatever, a proper book it now is featuring my bizarre tale of the memories of a confused child, growing into an equally confused adult, along with the ‘ins and outs’ of love, hate and all things in-between, all the way down to life styles, drink and drugs, flower power, love, dementia, death, opinions, the evils of racism and sexism, and…naturally…a pinch of sex, and much more to boot!


Should any of you fancy an audacious mix of lunacy and history then either the book in print or as Kindle is available via the link to Amazon that lurks below.   

Copyright © 2021. All rights reserved. Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, and lending, prohibited although in a crisis I’ve no issue with any reader using the pages of said book as emergency’s loo roll.



48 thoughts on “AN ‘ONLY CHILD’ & HIS MUM’S AMAZING GERM PHOBIA

    1. Ah, the lovely Ms S. I have to say that in large part your take on not binning words saved the day. The bulk of this book was written before I’d even heard of WP etc. It was something I wrote post selling the business for something to do…nought else. My mother and her germ phobia as Shirl put it, makes her want to both cry and laugh at the same time. Regards, The Old Fool

    1. ‘Tis a strange old title, yet born of truth. To the day she died my mother had a ‘thing’ about germs to the extent that she never (ever) touched her only child i.e. yours truly. Being a solitary lad I thought that that was the way everyone lived! I believe the humour I see now but not back then was worth it. My sincere thanks. Regards, The Old Fool

  1. Added to my Kindle Wish List. Seems like we grew up around the same time, though my mum had no issues with germs, fortunately.
    Best wishes, and good luck with the book.
    Pete.

  2. Congrats, TOF! This sounds very cool!
    You may remember, I am your pal who has boycotted Amazon for 5 years now. Otherwise, I’d buy one.
    Ashamedly, I’ve barely read a thing in the last several months, preferring to ride out the “Stay at home” oder behind my pencils, pens, paints and sewing Art Gowns. When I do go out, (we are allowed to walk [whooptidoo]) I wander the alleys, taking pics of street art.
    The Snow White Tigress languishes on my bedside table, ready for the mood to read to strike.
    I WILL read it.
    xo

    1. Your art is all, young Resa. Whatever its genre, art is all. My love of the French is that from peasant to toff art means everything. So do what you do and enjoy. Sadly, there’s not many like you and your kind. I’m now off to take more than a snip of a rather tasty French wine…’tis Friday after all. Regards, The Old Fool

      1. I think you are in with my kind, dear TOF!
        Go drink and write!
        You wait ’til Friday to drink wine? Talk about nerves of steel!

    1. It’s a true story, young Holly. My mother did everything to ensure I never met up with ‘germs’. I think she wanted me to be an immortal. A weird thing and looking back rather funny. Regards, The Old Fool

      1. I can understand that. Germs are to be avoided. I feel the same as you…totally agree. The thing with my mother that prompted me to write this one was the fact that she never once touched or cuddled etc. etc. the little version of me back then. The funny part is that I thought this was a regular thing all mums ‘didn’t’ do. That’s when I got confused and by the time I was old enough to seek girlfriends, my innocence cost me dearly. These days I just look back and have a laugh!

      2. I am all for hugging and cuddling, this is sad Mike, I hope you’ve had lots of the above since childhood. Sending a virtual hug to you right now!

      3. Very kind of you, Holly. I’m rather pleased that I see only the comical side of my upbringing. When I reflect upon times gone by I am on the outside looking in at the young version of self. I’d have gone insane otherwise.

      4. Something triggered some big time creativity while you were out there looking in , we’re all grateful for that. Without years of psychoanalysis we never really know how much our outside environment in childhood really affects us. I spent a lot of time daydreaming after my mom died and Dad took off to explore the world. I think I developed a bit of germaphobia as a nurse. Not a helpful quality. 😊 hugs!

  3. Congrats, Mike! I now have this inside my Kindle waiting to be explored. One day soon… It will be lovely to discover what exactly happened… (nothing like a bit of forensics…) to produce a man of such forthright charm, refined taste, astute self-awareness and literary flamboyance as yourself. Readers will want to get to the bottom of that. 170k words–I consider myself duly warned–yet it is a small price to pay for such understanding.

    Best!
    Michael

    1. My thanks Sir. I agree there is nothing like a bit bit of forensics. Life is the strangest thing, more so when analysed. I live in hope this tome appeals. You should…again, I hope…have a laugh along the way, all the better. Regards, The Old Fool

  4. Reblogged this on Zoolon Audio and commented:
    This is my Dad’s new book all about his bizarre life. I’ve not read it yet but am told some of the dumb things I did as a kid are in it.

    1. My thanks, Pam. I believe I’ve lived one of those lives…not unlike many others…where one has to laugh or cry in terms of the growing up part. My mother dearly wanted me to become a germ free immortal. Since those days of yore I’ve chosen to laugh for the main part. Regards, The Old Fool

  5. My dear old friend, I ordered in the form of a “real book”! I have a lot of books in my Amazon Kindle, but I think some books are worth taking in the hands and smell the aroma of the paper. Thank you, and have a good and safe life, dear Mike. The younger honoured fool!

    1. You’re an officer and a gentleman, Sir. You have my respect and please let me know what you think of this new tome of mine if you get the chance. My sincere thanks, The Old Fool

  6. Dear Mike. I have already got a message from Amazon that the delivery of your book is dispatched! I don’t know why. They want to substitute, but I wrote that I want this very book, even if I have to wait. Let’s look at what happens. Nice weekend.

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