FANNY, I THINK OF YOU OFTEN

MAURICE COLLARUP
PRIVATE INVESTIGATOR & PROCESS SERVER
BACKLIT HOUSE
SHADOW LANE
SOHO
LONDON

Dearest Fanny,

I think of you often. Even now with the passage of time your image stays with me…as fresh as a daisy in springtime.

Do you remember when we took that camel train across The Sahara desert?  Week upon week without shadow; the harsh unforgiving midday sun and sandstorms; you and I gnawing at freshly prepared goat meat on flat bread with such venomous hunger…moreover you and I gnawing at each other with equivalent passion.

Then Fanny that afternoon when we arrived at the Awjila Oasis on the old trade route…it was there that we bathed naked in the invigorating waters cleansing both our bodies and souls. And later, after quenching our thirsts we took shelter from the stark rays of the fiery orb under the protection of palms where we made such sweet love until our passion was duly quenched also. What a time that was!

And just a few weeks on whilst heading for Constantinople on the Orient Express when over dinner you told me you were with child. Never had I seen you so radiant…such heady times!

So then to Paris and that little street café just off the Champs Elysees when the accordion player clad in Breton shirt and beret played for us at our candlelit table as we shared coffee and cognac.  Do you recall that it was there that I asked you to close your eyes tightly shut and speak your name aloud? ‘Fanny Bygaslight’ you confirmed in that cute little manner you have about you.  It was then, with eyes still firmly shut that I told you I had a special little something just for you in my pocket. How excited you became. Then when I handed you the Criminal Bankruptcy Order served under the terms of the Insolvency Act 1792, Part IX and subject to section 266(3) and further in accordance with section 264(1) upon which the petition was based, how that exuberance turned to tears when I added that a significant custodial sentence was a forgone conclusion.  You see Fanny you really should not have abused your Poundland Store Card to the extent that you had should you?

So now as you languish in a debtor’s cell at Newgate Prison, the child in the care of nuns I still think of you often.

Yours Once,

Mo Collarup

Whether or not you’ve ever stumbled over it, ‘Fanny, I Think of You Often’ is the title of my book of extreme lunacy some years back. Should it take your fancy it can be purchased, along with my other books from AMAZON in PAPERBACK form or on regular KINDLE as well as for FREE on KINDLE UNLIMITED. To access, click on the picture below.

Copyright © 2016. All rights reserved. Unauthorised copying, reproduction, hiring, and lending, prohibited.


21 thoughts on “FANNY, I THINK OF YOU OFTEN

  1. For no good reason, this made me think of the old TV series, ‘Public Eye’. With Alfred Burke playing Frank Marker. I always thought it was a very realistic look into the often seedy world of private investigation. No love making at an Oasis though, as I recall.
    Best wishes, Pete.

    1. Cheers, Pete. Back in the day before we sold the firm I was…to my disgrace…a PI. To my credit I only worked for businesses, solicitors and barristers for the main part and never got involved with matrimonial issues and such like, yet on the way I often stumbled open those who did. This post is based upon one particular chap…now departed…who was a bastard of the first order. My thanks for the read, Mike

    1. My thanks, Pam. An odd tale it is, based upon a PI chum from back in the day. He could be both pleasant and cruel on the drop of a hat. Regards, The Old Fool

  2. Hahaha. It got me. Thought it was gonna be some mushy love story about the perfect love then bam! Papers served. Fanny and I did not see that coming !

  3. You and your twists! I wasn’t expecting that ending, either, and yet after having read you for so many years, I should have known better. You’ll always get the best of me, Master Steeden! xxxxxxxxx

    1. My thanks, Ms. Lee. Talking of me and my twists, I and the whole family have acquired the dreaded virus. If I could write a book of twists akin to said virus I’d make a fortune. ‘Tis a cunning Covid 19 for sure. Each day a new twist. Never mind, how are you?

      1. Oh no! I hope you all can heal, slow and steady, back to your creatively chaotic lives. We are well, just unstable with jobs. Every day is a new twist, indeed!

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