ROSIE

Waking up to a thumping headache, a headache born of far too much of last evening’s scarlet Bordeaux, a bleary eyed cursory morning glance toward the bedside table only to spot what I thought had been the stuff of dissolving dreams, namely a post-it note I’d scribbled upon that read, ‘Miss Rosie Mayday Lily Eve … More ROSIE

FOR THE LOVE OF A HERON

Under a barbarians frown troposphere holding Scant regard for dawns abashed first vestal flush Bereft of sunlit obligatory mopping up chores Upon unforgiving viscous wetlands well-nigh shanghaied From under Neptune’s otherwise engaged snout Each tentative step taken a hazard, actual or imagined   That a penetrating easterly ‘I’ll give you cold sores’ blows Lacerating vital … More FOR THE LOVE OF A HERON

AN ORGY OF SNAILS

Under the blue skies Of Hell Fire Corner Back from the White Cliffs She lies on her belly Pond side Tickling a giant coy carp The one the heron’s forgot   At first the fish Seeks a gift A morsel of food perhaps That is Until she communes with him Has a matter of fact … More AN ORGY OF SNAILS

ALFRED OUTWHAITE’S PEDIGREE HOMING EARWIG – unadulterated lunacy!

“Where you off to then Alfie?” “Railway station Billy boy – you see I’ve got little Esmeralda my pedigree homing earwig tucked up safe and sound on a bed of cotton wool in this Bryant & May matchbox with a sufficiency of ripe fruit and garbage to see her through the railway journey to Budapest.” … More ALFRED OUTWHAITE’S PEDIGREE HOMING EARWIG – unadulterated lunacy!

ANTEATER – A ridiculously ‘silly’ verse for kids and ageing juveniles!

I am the consummate anteater, My best thing is eating ants, I don’t mind if they’re naked, Or in their underpants.   I eat them in the morning, I eat them at twilight, I often eat Al Fresco, Or in restaurants, late at night   The more ants I eat the better, The better I … More ANTEATER – A ridiculously ‘silly’ verse for kids and ageing juveniles!

GILBERT’S GRAVE MISTAKE – A caption from a randomly chosen picture.

  Gilbert the dog knew all too well from her body language that he was getting a bit of a ticking off. His problem, of course, was that only having just a few words of English – words like ‘stay,’ ‘fetch’ and one or two others – he couldn’t rightly say what he was getting this … More GILBERT’S GRAVE MISTAKE – A caption from a randomly chosen picture.