JONNY CATAPAULT – THE PLUMBER THE ARTISTS ALL TRUST & LEONARDO DA VINCI’S BANGING WATER PIPES

“Well you know what they say Lenny boy, ‘There’s no such thing as a silent plumbing system,’ yet yours was banging away like a Soho brothel on a Saturday night if I may say so. I’m surprised you could get any bo-peep. Still, it’s all sorted now I’ve installed a handy anti-siphon trap.” “Yeah I … More JONNY CATAPAULT – THE PLUMBER THE ARTISTS ALL TRUST & LEONARDO DA VINCI’S BANGING WATER PIPES

A BEAUTIFUL SONG

It is often said of me that I am, ‘about as much use as a fart in a thunderstorm’. Most likely there is more than an element of truth in that. In particular, technology is my bette noir hence you find me on a wing and a prayer, hoping against hope that I’ve managed to … More A BEAUTIFUL SONG

THE ENGLISHMAN

Reveil, Boulevard de Clichy – Anders Zorn, 1899 Drunk on Pernod, lost to opium and thoroughly fatigued, gifting smoke rings to ungrateful stars, contemplating an interlude with an immodest, exiled Geisha touting for business somewhere along the Boulevard de Clichy, she found me; saved me. Slapped my wrists, gave me the evil eye, even had … More THE ENGLISHMAN

RADIANT FREAKS

After an unseemly war, indeed any conflict worth its salt, holding hands with the foe in a see-through wrought iron creaky elevator makes for the perfect imaginative indignity. More so when the mechanism is empty of surplus pounding hearts, black widow spiders on heat and coy venomous snakes.  Yet when bereft of such additional intrusive … More RADIANT FREAKS

THE SUNSHINE GIRL

14th June 1940. The hasty words and deeds of the Sunshine Girl extinguished the sparkling lights of Paris, becalmed all passion that night the City of Love became the Shadowy City of the Mystified. No river boats on the Seine, Montparnasse bars, cafés, restaurants alike, all shut up shop. In her wake, just empty boulevards. … More THE SUNSHINE GIRL

CUCKOO ALICE

As of about now I shall be away from my blog spoiling my dear wife, Shirl. I estimate that by the end of June she will likely tire of such indulgence. In the meantime, I leave you with a dose of refined lunacy and wish one and all the very best of good fortune. CUCKOO … More CUCKOO ALICE

JONNY CATAPULT – THE PLUMBER THE ROMANTIC NOVELISTS ALL TRUST

SHEHANNE MOORE’S CENTRAL HEATING PUMP “Well Shehanne, luv…or may I call you Shey…I can? Nice one. Thanks for the cuppa.  I must say strong tea, when combined with a generous slice of your very own homemade Dundee Cake provides a real treat for the taste buds, although inevitably the cake doesn’t dunk like what my … More JONNY CATAPULT – THE PLUMBER THE ROMANTIC NOVELISTS ALL TRUST