Zinnie do you still love meAfter all that I have done?That gal in Nice inconsequentialAs was the meaningless fling with the nun Mind you, my frolic with young SvetlanaI accept did cross the lineSo too my affair with that actressAnd the model I did wine and dine And as for bashful MarleneWhen you caught us … More ZINNIE DO YOU STILL LOVE ME?
The young Master Doowhat Useless-Hopeless Who’d have thought it! Me aka Mr Doowhat Useless-Hopeless put this little video collection of mainly very old photographs from my new book, ‘An Only Child & His Mum’s Amazing Germ Phobia’ along with a backing instrumental by the title ‘A Life’, courtesy of my son…who is featured as a … More MR DOOWHAT USELESS-HOPELESS
‘An Unusual Take on Life and Social History from the 1950’s Onward‘ In a perfect world I’d have been rich and famous thus deemed worthy of penning the story of my own life. In reality I am a content ‘nowhere man’ with a vast chronicle of all things bonkers to pass on to anyone who … More AN ‘ONLY CHILD’ & HIS MUM’S AMAZING GERM PHOBIA
An extract from the autobiography of Twatersley Fromage The day the telegram arrived my heart sunk. You see the beastly Ottoman swine had kidnapped my one true love, my Mildred and allowed her just the one message home – a glorified ransom note – it read; Dearest Twatersley (STOP) I am in dire straits (STOP) … More THE TALE OF MILDRED’S KNICKERS
I entered this world a Fully formed adult male Delivered up by A lightning bolt that Struck a cast iron waste bin Outside Turnham Green Underground Station Leaving me encased therein After a long struggle I wormed my way out and Found myself Quite naked on the pavement Outside the station entrance During the … More THE CHEMISTRY OF EXISTENCE – BIO OF A LUNATIC
Well it’s near the end now. I’ve ‘clocked’ meself for the third time and by my reckoning the scrap heap soon beckons. Been a good old run I’ve had though. 22 owners and counting! Boy do I have some memories to share. Of course I didn’t always look like a ‘camp’ camper van – … More THE LIFE & TIMES OF HARRY THE CAMPER VAN