“I say Carruthers, I’ve heard tell Jacob is racist. What pray do you make of that my friend?” “Who the bleddy hell is Jay Cobb when he’s at home?” “I think you got the wrong end of the stick old chum, it’s Jacob Rees-Mogg who’s racist.” “Good Lord, so Rees-Mogg is aka Ray Cyst. Doesn’t … More NEWS OF BREXIT ISSUES REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON
Foreign Office, London, May 1941: Erstwhile office girl from the Foreign Office now a special agent conducting covert duties against the German invaders in Northern France had, following a successful mission disrupting Luftwaffe capabilities been captured by the Gestapo. However her chivalrous partner in espionage, Francois of the French Resistance movement has come to Tiffany’s … More FRANCOIS KNOCKS ONE OUT FOR TIFFANY!
Foreign Office, London, April 1941: Tiffany, until recently just another working girl undertaking secretarial duties with the Foreign Office in London is now, having been seconded by British Special Operations something of a national treasure – or rather she should be! The mission she undertook in Northern France with the assistance of the French Resistance … More TIFFANY BANGED UP IN FRANCE!
An extract from The Duke of Edinburgh’s biography of Twatersley Fromage OBE Rice University, Houston. September 12, 1962: Raising the stakes in the competition between Cold War rivals, the Soviet Union and the United States for supremacy in spaceflight capability President John F Kennedy gives a speech, broadcast worldwide stating unequivocally that the US will … More YANKS AIRBRUSH BRITISH MOON MISSION FROM THE HISTORY BOOKS!
“I say Carruthers I bumped into one of those awful tabloid journalist type chaps in the Press Gallery at the Commons last evening and he said quite the strangest thing you know.” “What’s that then?” “Well his exact words were, ‘I think this ballot come poll will see another Cat O’Lyst not unlike that Christine … More NEWS OF THE FORTHCOMING GENERAL ELECTION REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON
“I say Carruthers the PM’s private secretary is frantic.” “Fran Tic? Gosh I thought her name was Sheila…I mean I’ve been calling her Sheila for years. She must think me an idiot…I do wish you’d have corrected me before now.” “No old chum she’s frantic as in ‘got her knickers in a twist’.” “How so?” … More NEWS OF A STOLEN TRANSCRIPT REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON!
“I say Carruthers that really was a waste of our valuable drinking time, also a most unpleasant experience.” “Certainly was old chum. I mean out of the kindness of our hearts we visit that old leftie type of the gentry, Lord Daniel Soz, 7th Earl of Whitechapel at his country pile to give him the … More NEWS OF A WHISTLE-BLOWER REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON
“I say Carruthers that secretary of ours…you know young Tiffany…well I’ve just caught her out sneaking orf work I’ll have you know!” “Sneaking orf work…good Lord never heard the like of it. Having said that where had the girl sneaked orf to?” “Oh the ladies facilities.” “The ladies facilities! You mean you’ve been inside the … More NEWS OF THE HALLOWEEN ISSUE OF SOZSATIRE REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON!
“I say Carruthers the PM can be bloody rude when the fancy takes him.” “How so old chum? Personally I’ve never had issue with him on the politeness front.” “Well apropos nothing he took me aside following the meet at No. 10 earlier and said, ‘God man you need a mint Mentos like I don’t … More CARRUTHERS, HIS CHUM & A MENTOS!
“I say Carruthers any good news on the home front if you get my drift?” “Oh you mean Deirdre storming orf out of The Ritz just when I thought we were getting our matrimonial issues all patched up and tickety-boo. Well I’m not at all sure that it is ‘good’ news as you so succinctly … More DEIRDRE SEDUCES CARRUTHERS?