SHERLOCK HOLMES SUFFERS DETECTIVE’S BLOCK

ETCHINGTON’S DEMISE Inspector Lestrade: “Good God Watson, the pair of you took your bloody time getting here. You only live around the sodding corner. What kept you so long?” Dr Watson: “The reason for our ‘brief’ delay I’ll have you know was that Holmes insisted he finish The Times crossword puzzle whilst sat in the … More SHERLOCK HOLMES SUFFERS DETECTIVE’S BLOCK

THE SAD DEMISE OF JESSICA DOWNLOW – THE TREE HUGGING SUICIDAL POET

Always I have hugged trees. Even as a small child I hugged them…all varieties mind…for there is nothing like communing with nature in my book. In point of fact nothing can match the feeling of bare skin on bark…the silver birch especially. My parents thought me most odd. Pater would often say to me, ‘Jessica, … More THE SAD DEMISE OF JESSICA DOWNLOW – THE TREE HUGGING SUICIDAL POET

JUNIPER CHERRY-BLOSSOM – THE PULSE EATING VEGAN

“Crumbs Juniper there’s a God awful pong about the lounge this morning. I’m guessing you’ve been on the pulses once more, my love?” “Yes Denzel darling I did venture toward the curried red lentil savouries at Marigold’s little soirée in aid of the impoverished harvesters of the organically grown damsons of Cumbria last evening. Rather … More JUNIPER CHERRY-BLOSSOM – THE PULSE EATING VEGAN

THE ELASTIC SNAPPED

WARNING: This book may contain traces of nuts (not of the edible kind) and may also cause drowsiness amongst those unfamiliar with the English language. Bibliophobia sufferers may experience severe panic attacks.  Additionally, it is strongly recommended that you do not drive whilst reading. INGREDIENTS: Lunacy, stupidity, silliness, idiocy, absurdity, aberration, eccentricity and fragments of … More THE ELASTIC SNAPPED

NEWS OF BREXIT ISSUES REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON

“I say Carruthers, I’ve heard tell Jacob is racist. What pray do you make of that my friend?” “Who the bleddy hell is Jay Cobb when he’s at home?” “I think you got the wrong end of the stick old chum, it’s Jacob Rees-Mogg who’s racist.” “Good Lord, so Rees-Mogg is aka Ray Cyst. Doesn’t … More NEWS OF BREXIT ISSUES REACHES THE FOREIGN OFFICE IN LONDON