SIR ISAAC NEWTON’S HOUSEBRICK OF DESPAIR

“I say Svetlana my young buxom maid of all maids, would you mind being ever so kind and pass me a housebrick from my treasured collection aside the bookcase” “Certainly Sir Isaac. May I ask which variety of housebrick you favour? For here I note not just the Regency type, but also the Brecken Grey, … More SIR ISAAC NEWTON’S HOUSEBRICK OF DESPAIR

NAPOLEON’S QUANDARY

Josephine: “Ah, my ‘liteel corporal’ why ze sad face?” Napoleon: “Josie me luv, me minds gone blank – and not so much of the ‘little’ if you don’t mind, it cuts me to the very quick when you say such things.” Josephine: “’Ow so ‘as your mind gone, ‘ow you say, ‘blonk?’” Napoleon: “Well, luv … More NAPOLEON’S QUANDARY

JONNY CATAPAULT – THE PLUMBER THE ARTISTS ALL TRUST

LEONARDO DA VINCI’S BANGING WATER PIPES  “Well you know what they say Lenny boy, ‘There’s no such thing as a silent plumbing system,’ yet yours was banging away like a Parisian brothel on a Saturday night if I may say so. I’m surprised you could get any kip. Still all sorted now, I installed a handy … More JONNY CATAPAULT – THE PLUMBER THE ARTISTS ALL TRUST

JONNY CATAPAULT – THE PLUMBER THE ARTISTS ALL TRUST & VINCENT VAN GOGH’S EAR!

“How you doing Vinnie dude? Got your message via little Rachel from the Maison de Tolerance up the road. She says you’ve only gone and flushed your right ear down the bog. How on earth did you manage that?” “Pardon…oh, I got a bit down in the dumps so I popped down the pub and … More JONNY CATAPAULT – THE PLUMBER THE ARTISTS ALL TRUST & VINCENT VAN GOGH’S EAR!

MY SUICIDE NOTE

I’ve been an utter rotter and a scoundrel both an accomplished idiot and a fool to choose the pleasures of fresh flesh and to be so untrue to you   Of course it was always in my nature to treat you, my true lover thus for no matter how much I craved for you on … More MY SUICIDE NOTE